A Time For All Things

As I look out my window and see the lovely flowers, I am reminded of the idea that there really is a time for all things. Right now, it is a time for heat and staying indoors as much as possible until the cool of the Colorado evening arrives so we can walk around the lake. Later and sooner than you think, it will be time to put up the shorts and find our jackets, and then our winter coats.

When I don’t feel up to par and this old body hurts, aches and complains, I have to remind myself that “This, too, shall pass.” I exercise and do my physical therapy, put on my happy face, and get on with my day, whatever that becomes.

I know that no one likes to be around a complainer. Period. Complaining just sets whatever it is that is going wrong into concrete and is much harder to deal with. Why would anyone want that?

I find something to rejoice in, no matter how small. Perhaps it is a few moments in hot water in my jetted bath tub, which eases any body part that is complaining. Perhaps it is looking at my photo albums on my computer and putting on some nice music as they keep showing frame after frame. My point is that one does not have to remain in that bad mood unless you truly want to do that. There is so much to be thankful for if one just looks for it. That is the key.

Life is so short so I don’t want to waste the precious time that God gives me every day. There are loved ones who need a word of encouragement, a saleslady that truly needs a kind word and a smile, a child that needs a cuddle and to know that it is OK, etc.

In short, dear readers, it is up to you to choose to stay in the “bad day,” or find ways to make it better. Are you willing?

God bless you on your journey!

arrows - aiming

 

 

Fear

F is for Forever

E is for Evading

A is for Another

R is for Reality

Forever Evading Another Reality

Does this acronym speak to you? It explained a lot to me in my life and in how others experience FEAR.

The worst part of FEAR is that it is immobilizing, whether it is real (Is that a bear up ahead?) or an illusion (all the “What if’s” you can think about).

Fear always has a companion, WORRY. These two serve to make one’s imagination run wild. The more you concentrate on what you do not want to happen, the more these two become a driving force in your decisions.

Question: Why would one consciously put so much effort into something you do NOT want to happen when you could use that same energy to be constructive, formulating a better outcome?

Do you feel “stuck” in a situation that is harmful to you, your personal growth, your life? Is it because of FEAR and WORRY? These two are thieves that steal your potential good from you.

ANSWER: Only you can take action to make a better choice. You have to look at your daily life and see what you need to change.

FEAR and WORRY create a vortex which leads to nowhere. Are you willing to keep it going? How does it serve you?

If it does not help you to create a new synergy with a better goal, you are simply marking time.

Time is the one thing you cannot buy back. No amount of effort will bring you more of it. Life is so very short. Each moment needs to be spent wisely and well in lieu of languishing in a “Woe is me!”

Your history is just that: History, as in gone, as in cannot be changed. Each second becomes history, quickly.

Are you willing to keep spinning your wheels, or do you want more? If you do, now is the time to begin it.

The Chinese have a saying, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”

Are you willing to look for a step towards a new beginning? Exit the quagmire of quicksand and begin anew. You have the power. Use it.

God’s blessings upon your journey. Remember that destinations are good to aim for, but enjoy each moment of your NOW.

better choices Change my tomorrows Do not stay where you are Past & future one step at a time

 

Imagination

Imagination is a wonderful characteristic to have. Like most things, it has its good and bad sides. The good sides can be seen everywhere: Creating a beautiful garden or landscape; writing a book; painting a picture; decorating a cake or a room; dancing; etc. The bad sides are not so obvious: Being afraid of monsters under the bed or in the closet; Phobias about anything from spiders to heights; fear of something in the future or consequences of what is past; etc. In fact, it is easy to see the negative side in others, but it is not so easy to spot it in yourself.

Imagination can be extremely helpful in Visioning a better outcome or future because you are dwelling on the positive side of it all. In a way, you are creating a mold of what you would like to have or see happen. The Power of Attraction then creates synergy to bring it forth.

One example of the bad side is a person who is a shut in with many ailments and pains, the Imagination works upside down, enhancing how awful your reality is. Your awareness of anything outside of your area is automatically eliminated.  News from the outside world is not important. If anything, one probably picks up on the negative news. Things begin a downward spiral, like a snowball going downhill. The synergy brought forth is not anything desirable.

Other examples are workers who are on a treadmill of life, barely able to feel in control of their choices because of the demands on their time: Travel time to and from work, young children, perhaps parents who are in need of care taking. In short, the idea of making time for exercise, walking, reading, or taking a long bath and just relaxing are just a dream. Yet they are essential to personal health and well-being.

The question becomes: What do you want to occur? What do you choose to dwell on?

It is this choice that becomes the difference. If one continues to dwell on the negative, the snowball continues on its way. If a glimmer of a positive can be introduced into the imagination, the snowball can be stopped and a new synergy begins.

However, most people are not proactive about making changes in their reality.

If they experience fear, it immobilizes and restricts, making it impossible or extremely difficult to deal with. That immobilization/restriction causes consequences that multiply exponentially with time. They longer one waits to decide on a plan of action, the more severe the situation becomes.

Fear begets fear.

“Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself”: FDR’s First Inaugural Address.

“On the plains of hesitation lie the blackened bones of countless millions who at the dawn of victory lay down to rest, and in resting died.”
Adlai E. Stevenson
 I have also heard: “Upon the plains of hesitation lie the bones of countless thousands who, upon the threshold of victory, sat down to wait, and, in waiting, they died.”

The message here is that hesitation has a price you may not want to pay. It may not be today or tomorrow, but it is inevitable if you do nothing.

So how about you? Do you want to use your imagination in a constructive way? Are you so caught up in the daily humdrum of your existence that you do not think about a different possibility? It is your choice, and not making a choice becomes exactly that, a choice. What is your decision?

God bless you on your journey!

choice every day Choices - Chances - Changes

Dr. Wayne Dyer

Dr. Wayne Dyer

Do Something Life best days

 

Cherish Every Moment

Tempus Fugit! (Time Flies!) As I age, it seems like the hours, days, months, years just evaporate before my eyes. It appears to be a time warp, yet it is not.

If one were to think about the word, “Cherish,” its many connotations explain the deepest, most meaningful use of the word: “To feel or show great love for something or someone; to remember or hold an idea or belief in a deeply felt way; to harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely.” There is nothing casual about this word.

Each and every day, each person gets on the treadmill of life, doing activities and work, play, exercise, etc. So I am asking you to pay attention to the people in your life, young or old, boss or coworkers, your child or someone else’s – just notice how you interact with each one. Ask yourself, “If I never see that person again, can I live with what I just said? Was it kind or mean? Did I share a smile or a frown?” Instead of just trying to get through the day, why not experience each moment as it comes? Soon enough, the day will be gone. Are you happy with it or not? Is there something you would change? Do you wish you could “unsay” something? If you are not paying attention, a lot of things just slide right on by, good, bad, or indifferent. Is that OK with you?

If you decide to cherish each moment, you will notice a significant change in how fast the hours disappear. The people in your life will feel your affection and thoughts, simplifying interactions tremendously.

It is, after all, solely your choices which will make a difference. Choose Wisely vs. Poorly.

God’s blessings upon your journey.

Last Chance

Last Chance

 

 

Grasping Hand

Grasping Hand sounds pretty startling, doesn’t it?

Do you know how they catch monkeys in the forest? They put out glass jars with a nut in the bottom. The monkey reaches in, grasps the nut, and then cannot pull the hand out because it will not let the nuts go. They come back, pick up the monkeys, jar and all. They break the jar once the monkey is secured. Easy.

Do you have a Grasping Hand? Are you holding onto something so tightly that you do not want to let go? Do you know how much effort that takes?

Place a pencil in your hand and wrap your fingers around it. Ask a friend to remove it. Not going to happen. Now – open your hand. The friend can remove the pencil easily. The difference? Readily seen – you let it go by opening your hand.

There are many reasons to have a Grasping Hand, some of which are sentimental (which is OK). Some things have served their use (as in clothes you have outgrown or no longer wear because your tastes have changed). Yet, sometimes we hang onto things just because we have a lack consciousness. Hoarders are one example. Yet they, too, acquire things that they will never even use.

Sounds complicated, doesn’t it? It can be.

Many of us were raised up with very little possessions. Hence, we decide to keep stuff that no longer serves a purpose for us.

There are so many others out there who still have very little. Why not share with them what you no longer need? There are so many organizations out there that would appreciate that set of dishes, silverware, serving spoons, clothing, furniture, etc. Recycle your stuff with the universe. Let it go!

A few years ago, I had the obligation of going through a relative’s house. Many of us have to do that. Things that held such attachment to that person become no longer valid. So the sort begins: One bag to the Good Will or other charity organization, some to relatives, and others to the trash.

Why wait for somebody else to do it? Take charge of your life, keep what you want, and then let the rest go to wherever you think it will be needed.

I know someone who keeps everything by the stacks. These items are never looked at or cherished. Yet, if asked to go through them, it causes such agitation that it is mind boggling. It is very sad to see.

How about you? Are the emotions that are generated by these items so difficult to endure that it makes it impossible to release them? This can be the case, easily. Each item can only be examined on its own merits, and then a decision rendered, item by item. That is pretty overwhelming, yet necessary.

What price is there for the Grasping Hand? It can be extreme in many instances, from creating a fire hazard to feeling helpless about it. Only you can decide what price you want to pay. Are you willing?

God’s blessings upon your journey!

You Own Nothing

You Own Nothing

Do You “Push the River?”

One example of “Pushing the River” is: Have you ever been in a hurry to drive somewhere and getting really irritated at stop lights and pokey drivers? That is an example of “Pushing the River.” The fix is simple: be where you are, concentrating on the moment.

Perhaps things are not going according to your plans, or something unexpected happens to delay you. These are examples of “Pushing the River” because you are getting upset, excited, or angry about whatever it is. However, the answer is always the same: Be in the moment, experiencing your life and resolving the situation.

It sounds pretty simple, yet it can be as complicated as you make it. Life will go on, either way.

But the more you experience negative emotions (upset, angry, irritation, etc.), the less livingness you have. You are giving your power away to others and to situations that are, obviously, not under your control. Your response is your life expressing.

Have you taken the time to analyze yourself: Are you a Type A personality or Type B?

Type A personalities (per Wikipedia) are “ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, sensitive, impatient, take on more than they can handle, want other people to get to the point, anxious, proactive, and concerned with time management. People with Type A personalities are often high-achieving workaholics, push themselves with deadlines, and hate both delays and ambivalence…Dangerous Type A behavior is expressed through three major symptoms: (1) free-floating hostility, which can be triggered by even minor incidents; (2) time urgency and impatience, which causes irritation and exasperation – usually described as being short-fused; and (3) a competitive drive, which causes stress and an achievement-driven mentality.”

Type B personalities (again per Wikipedia) are “noted to live at lower stress levels. They typically work steadily, and may enjoy achievement, although they have a greater tendency to disregard physical or mental stress when they do not achieve. When faced with competition, they may focus less on winning or losing than their Type A counterparts and more on enjoying the game regardless of winning or losing. Unlike the Type A personality’s rhythm of multi-tasked careers, Type B individuals are sometimes attracted to careers of creativity: writer, counselor, therapist, actor or actress. However, network and computer systems managers, professors, and judges are more likely to be Type B individuals as well. Their personal character may enjoy exploring ideas and concepts. They are often reflective, and think of the outer and inner world.”

It is readily apparent that Type B personalities are more relaxed and approach problems differently than Type A personalities. You can sense the wear and tear that Type A people experience. Can you recognize your traits as more of one of these than the other? It is possible to be a mix, of course. But it is the predominance of one over the other which can rule each day.

Pushing the River is like a Commandment: Thou shalt do this or else! “My way or the highway” people have less flexibility in living and choices that they see from their frame of reference. Every other possibility is nixed before they become aware of such an idea. Can you see how limiting that can be?

Would you rather be relaxed, floating on an inner tube, paddling at will than be on a Class V river rafting trip? Life can be hard enough without starting out every day with a Class V. Wouldn’t you agree?

Can you get the sense of flowing with life’s experiences each day, seeing where it takes you? Yes, there are things that need doing – in their time. Nothing wrong with that idea. It’s just proceeding as if you have a guided tour vs. a Tour de France push. Can you sense the difference?

Are you willing to look at your daily choices to begin to make some required changes so you can live with less stress, anxiety, and anger? It is, after all, your choices that will make a new beginning for you. Are you willing?

God’s blessings upon your journey!

 

Life well lived

Change the Inside

Love – Reflection or Reality?

Today is Valentine’s Day – a time when most people find  a way to let others know how very much they care. Some use flowers, cards, and candy. Some cook a nice meal or eat out. Others find it is a day of loneliness because they are feeling separated, alone, and unhappy. Which category do you fall into?

Love has been described by many words, trying to express the emotions and thoughts which come tumbling through. In the end, words cannot encompass how one feels inside because there is such a distance between the head and the heart.

Is Love a Reflection in you, or Reality? If it is a Reflection, it is like an image in a mirror that one tries to copy. However, copies do not work very well because it originates in the head. If it is a Reality, the look in your eyes in the mirror, the smile on your lips, and the lift in your step comes through before you speak. The heart is expressing itself in Joy.

Yes, life can dim that Love expression, but it cannot remove it completely. The embers of that fire remain.

There are many illusions out there that can create feelings: Passion by itself burns brightly, but then is more easily lost; Hugs and Kisses feel good always – yet they are actually temporal; Gentle Touching can make one aroused, until sexual intercourse satisfies the longings. The plain truth is that it always ends sometime. The feelings themselves can cause confusion because men and women think they are Reality. When the feelings fade, they move on to the next stimulation. The problem is that satisfaction cannot be found there either.

Love as a Reality is present in every moment of every day. It is a State of Being, present always regardless of time and distance, life or death. It is like Light – shining outward to others and receiving their Light as well. Specific and Random Acts of Kindness pour forth. With that Light comes Respect and Friendship. They are inseparable.

Friendship is a key element of relationships. It has been observed that many people treat acquaintances better than they do their mates. That is a most strange phenomenon. Your mate should be your very best friend and treated accordingly.

In daily life, attitudes of barriers like “me” and “them” create situations that would not otherwise occur. Conflicts arise, causing stress and unhappiness for all. Perhaps it is time to take a look at that in order to find a different way to interact.

Many times, one may hear: “learn to love yourself first.” Jesus stated, “Love thy neighbor AS thyself.” Somehow, many people do not recognize the simplicity of those words. He did not say, “INSTEAD OF Thyself.”  Personal growth gurus have stated for years, “Begin in the morning, look in the mirror, wrap your arms around yourself and state: I Love You while looking in the mirror.” Sounds like a great idea to me. It is a start in the right direction, at the very least

“Love is a strange thing.

It is a flower, so delicate

that a touch will bruise it

and so strong that nothing can stop its growth.

Think how often we miss love in a life time —

by a wrong gesture,

by an unspoken word,

by not keeping silent at the right time.

We lose it by the interference of others,

by a lack of money and communication,

by a quarrel over a trifle,

and yet

we cannot live without it.”

Author unknown

May we decide today to Love in Reality in lieu of Reflection, spreading acts of kindness daily. Are you willing?

Happy Valentine’s Day!

God’s blessings upon your journey!

 

 

 

Problem Solving

Albert Einstein said: “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

Sound familiar? So , how do you begin to change so you will get a better end result? One thought at a time. Sounds silly, but is, nonetheless, true.

Every day, life presents us with situations/lessons in disguise. How you respond to them is entirely up to you, your thought processes, your emotions, and your choices. Sometimes, we feel that circumstances dictate our responses, which can be partially true. I am not referring to “exiting a burning building” or “danger–run!” I am discussing things like an escalating argument where one participates in that escalation. Nowhere is it written that one must respond in kind till a situation gets out of hand. One can always withdraw from the room, decide to keep silent, or even listen with a verbal acknowledgement of what the other person is stating (which is the best way to defuse it according to Anger Management techniques). My Golden Rule which I have used successfully for many years: It takes two to fight – if one is unwilling, it cannot happen.

I am not addressing abuse situations where a victim and an abuser, either through emotional or physical actions, fuse into a deadly dance. Professional help is needed in those cases.

There are situations where we choose our response because of exterior demands: Working with a person with Dementia, sickness, disability, etc. We modify our own words through training, caring, or loving response.

Problem solving can begin as a written exercise, where one sits down with pen and paper (or computer or other electronic device) with the intent of brain-storming ideas for solutions. Then you take each item and contemplate its positive and negative merits. It may take time to really think it through. It can be as complicated or as simple as you make it. It may take several tries to come up with something you are ready, willing, and able to do. Just remember, you need to know that a resolution exists and you can find it, use it, and release that problem through whatever action you deem appropriate.

Just endlessly talking about a problem with numerous people does not change it. In fact, it can magnify it. The more you think about it without any solution that you can believe in, the more it becomes a permanent resident. If that is what you want, keep talking. If not, begin to look for a way to resolve it.

Life is a precious thing. It is more than an endless conundrum of existence, like a hamster in a squirrel cage, going round and round endlessly. One must come up with a different idea if you want out of said cage.

How do you begin? Answer: One step at a time.

Most situations do not change overnight. Yet, persistent effort to accomplish a different outcome does not go unrewarded. Every little bit begins a new synergy, which in and of itself, can accomplish more than going around in that cage another time. It is worthy of your thoughts so that you might find a new way to live.

Are you willing?

God’s blessings upon your journey!

 

Small Steps

Small Steps

 

2015 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 980 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 16 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Getting Ready for 2016

Such an excellent idea! Negative things, no matter how big or small, need your time to write down and contemplate. Change does not come in huge sizes. They actually begin like a snowball at the top of a hill – small and then growing in size as it rolls down. If you do want some changes in your life, then you need to look at the elements of what is needed to accomplish these. It is well worthy of your time and effort.

Warmest wishes as you begin your journey into the New Year, 2016!

God bless your every effort.

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