Blog Archives
Thanksgiving and Christmas – New Year
First, let me take this opportunity to give you warmest wishes for the happiest of Thanksgivings and Christmases, as well as a Happy New Year. God bless you and yours with the highest good for each person. Whatever has happened in your world since this time last year, you have to go on believing that this season and next year can be filled with that highest good, with forgiveness where it is so needed of self and others, and with the joy of living each day the very best you can, doing one thing at a time. May your stresses evaporate and peace replace the space in your being that all the stresses sucked out of you.
That being said, attitudes about Thanksgiving (especially gratitude) and Christmas (joy of Life and givingness in all ways, big and small, to ones you care about deeply, whether it is time, effort or helpfulness in all its many forms) actually begin inside of you…the Heart. If you look inside of you instead of outside at all the commercialism, you will find peace in lieu of stress, joy instead of the rush to find the perfect gift–which you may or may not afford–for someone else, the gift of time spent with loved ones and really active listening to what they have to say to you in lieu of forming a response in your own mind–be it defensive, un-asked-for advice, or anything else.
These Holidays will pass so swiftly that you will wonder where the time goes. It is up to you if you incur stresses beyond your imagination or glide with a smile through your days, enjoying this time of year as it was meant to be.
Our rule is as follows for gatherings:
- “A dry crust of bread eaten in peace and quiet is better than a feast eaten where everyone argues. Better is a dry morsel with joy, than a house full of victims with strife. Better is a dry morsel and quietness therewith, than a house full of feasting with strife. Better a bite of dry bread [eaten] in peace than a family feast filled with strife.”
Having said all this, know that your choices will create your reality at this time of year as well as the rest of the year. Choose wisely what is best for you as well as others for these days will pass and soon you will face the challenges of life that the New Year brings.
God bless you and yours during this time of year. Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Seeds of Thought
Seeds of thoughts are powerful things…for out of them one makes choices, which is the Power of God in Motion in our lives! Thinking generates emotions, which is the driver of our reality.
These seeds we plant in the soul of our lives. From them come the plants that feed and nurture our souls. From them comes the strength to meet our daily vicissitudes with calmness, knowing God is helping us every moment of our day, no matter the situation.
One of God’s names is Emmanuel, which means God With Us. That means we are not alone…except for the idea that we can shut that God off because we don’t turn within and listen. God has not left us. We simply turn our attention to other things, like loneliness and feeling separated from others. Instead of taking His Hand as our Companion, we let go of that Hand and walk according to our own understanding of our reality. How does this happen? One thought at a time.
My personal motto which I live by:
I will plant my seeds for today the very best I can because they are the fruits and blossoms of my tomorrows yet to be.
The reason the present is so vital is because this moment is all we have to live in…our PRESENT.
God bless you on your journey.
Livingness
How many times have you stopped whatever it is you were doing, thinking, or saying because you had a flashback to your past, be it either good, bad, or somewhere in between? I can honestly state that about half of my life, conservatively, has been spent with my mind elsewhere instead of in the present moment. However, are you aware that it is like a thief in the night, robbing you down to the depths of your soul? We ruminate about what could have been, what should not have happened, etc., almost always from a negative viewpoint. Because that moment, that memory is gone…even if it was just a second ago or perhaps years long gone. The emotions generated from this can hurt as much or more than they did at that time. The only difference is that you are no longer in the present moment, reacting to your current reality. Would it occur that it is a true waste of time and energy? Worse yet, it is bringing it forward into your present so you experience it over and over again in the current timeframe!
One can read about mindfulness (a/k/a this moment which is passing right now…being aware of the place I am in, what I can see, how I feel, looking for beauty , awe, and wonderment at this second in time) but it never arrives for so many people who are over-stressed, tired, and so aware of the many items that consume their waking time…and sometimes even their sleep. Outside influences command our every moment like a runaway train until we fall into bed at night.
Livingness can indeed be recaptured one breath at a time. Stop movement. Use your senses to see, hear, and taste your reality. Take just seconds to look for something special in your surroundings.
By breath, I do not mean that stressed out, upper chest breath. I am talking about the belly breath that expands outwards and comes inwards, pressing towards your back, slowly. It does indeed create miracles!
Are you in need of a miracle to change your life? It is your choice. Look for a class in yoga or any of the ideas that are out there to assist you in living a more creative reality, happier, handling stress better, able to respond more appropriately to anything that comes up in your daily occurrences. It is there for the asking. Are you willing?
God’s blessings on your journey! Have a great 4th of July!
Life is
Life is made up of moments, strung together like precious pearls…each a memory of something special.
If we are paying attention, beauty around us, kindness, friends, mates, people, etc., these moments can build a positive (or negative) memory. Savor the positive and work with the negative. These moments create emotions which can be friendly or your body’s enemy, for each is stored inside of us. This can affect us for years, becoming an anchor. I, for one, choose the positive…even out of the negative…and move on.
It’s your choice. Choose carefully.
God bless you on your journey!
Relationships’ Harmony Traces
Many people have already read “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman. They are:
- Acts of Service
- Words of Affirmation
- Physical Touch
- Quality Time
- Gift Giving
This book is so very worth the time to read as it has good, practical methods for filling each other’s love tanks and bringing peace to the home.
However, to this I would add another idea: Harmony Traces
When horses are pulling a load, their strengths and weaknesses are balanced by hooking them together using Harmony Traces. This can be seen in the “Ten Commandments” with Charlton Heston as he rearranged the sheik’s horses so each one could pull with its particular strength, making the pulling more powerful and equal.
Relationships are the same. If two people are in Harmony Traces, whatever the goal, both can pull their share till success is achieved because pulling together multiplies exponentially the pulling power and shortens the route to completion. The opposite then is also true, when little of the quality of Harmony Traces is utilized, it takes a lot longer, produces more friction, and perhaps prohibiting reaching any goal at all. It can be quite the conflagration in that case, perhaps ruining the good feelings one has and eliminating any future possibilities.
No matter the goal, both need to agree on how to achieve it. It includes everything from money goals, cleaning a house, who takes out the trash, or anything from a small task to a major one. Communication is key here, with no “magic thinking” where the other just “knows what to do.” Writing things down actually helps because it solidifies the goals. If one is aware that dirty dishes or refrigerator is just abhorrent to the mate, just honor that by quickly cleaning up the problem as an act of love. Discuss the use of money but do not argue. Discuss planned spending and personal values. Leave nothing to chance. If one demands money to spend while the other is striving to save, anger and resentment will arise and show its ugly face.
Reciprocity is vital! Relationships should be a two-way street. One horse cannot do the work of two. Each has the responsibility to share the load/duties.
Listening to others has become a lost art. Usually, when one person is talking, the other is forming a response–that is not Active Listening. Make an effort to hear what the other is saying, and do not let your own emotions get in your way. One suggestion is to paraphrase what you just heard so that the other knows you actually heard what was said. If yelling starts, it is because that person thinks one has to accelerate in order to be heard. Acknowledging the anger and what you heard can decelerate the situation to talking level again, like pricking a balloon with a pin. Anger cannot be maintained.
Many couples have problems because they treat their friends better than their loved one. They are more respectful to a friend while being disrespectful to a loved one. That makes no sense. “Please!” “and “Thank you!” are always frequently applied in a good relationship. It’s like “a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down!” as in “Mary Poppins.”
In short, using the 5 Love Languages’ techniques and intentionally (with forethought) using Harmony Traces, the love tanks of both can be readily filled. This enables Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs” to be met more easily and self-actualization for both parties of a relationship can be accomplished.
Lastly: LAUGH TOGETHER OFTEN! OPEN YOURSELF TO SEE THE BEAUTY OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS!
God’s blessings on your journey.
Hub of a Wheel
Do you feel like life runs you over? Do daily activities make you feel like a chipmunk in a cage, going round and round?
Can this be changed? Absolutely! It takes effort on your part and a change of thinking, which is the hardest of all. We all get stuck in our ruts of what happened before. No matter how miserable, lonely, or hurting we are, change is often so frightening that we never look for a different way to live.
The circumference of a wheel has a lot of motion and activity. Only the hub is quiet and still because it is in the center. This is a key for one to begin to change thoughts and emotions, thereby changing our reaction to the experiences that happen every single day.
How does one find center amid chaos? The drums beat so loudly! Surely the tempo must be maintained!
The awareness of a needed change is the beginning. There are so many avenues that are possible. Meditation, yoga, natural settings where one can find the peace that is sought so desperately, music that speaks to you that quiets your being, taking a class on mindfulness or any subject as you seek your answer. Each person’s answer is different, particular to the uniqueness of each spirit.
Five minutes of quiet breathing and just listening to the sounds around you can serve you well. Perhaps there is a cacophony of dissonant notes, or perhaps it is an awareness of natural sounds. Each one seeks in a different way for the answer. There is always an answer.
Some find it in a church or music; others find it when with loved ones, feeling their presence calming down the vicissitudes of a particularly difficult day. The point is that, in each person looking for an answer, one always appears. ALWAYS. It is the willingness to find a way to the inner hub of one’s being.
If you have a “monkey mind” that is never still, it is particularly difficult to move from the circumference to the HUB. You can do it if you persist. It takes the effort to learn to breathe slowly. (Do you know that when one is stressed out, the breathing immediately goes to the upper chest and can even proceed to hyperventilating! The cure? Take a deep breath and hold it, then let it out slowly. Become aware of your abdomen and force it outward as you breathe in, then collapse it as you force breath out. Continue breathing deeply. Oxygen will increase in your body and brain. You will find a place where the thoughts stop tumbling like water in a storm, slowly the swells lessen until the surface of the water is reflective and serene.) When you arrive at the quietness, you will learn how the HUB feels. If others try to return you to the frantically churning water, in your HUB you can choose not to go there. It is always a CHOICE. Use it wisely. Let no one take that power away from you. Never surrender to outside circumstances.
Life can sometimes hand you a bummer. It has been said by wise men: It is not the circumstances that happen in your life that cause a calamity to become worse–it is your personal reaction to those circumstances, thoughts, and feelings engendered. Are you the captain of your ship, choosing how and where to sail, or not? The choice will always be yours, without regard to any other fact.
God’s blessings on your journey!
Live Your Life Fully Every Day
First, let me wish you A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR 2023! GOD BLESS YOU WITH YOUR HIGHEST GOOD EVERY DAY!
With the daily stresses and strains of day-to-day living, you may well ask how is it possible to live your life fully every day. We all know the heavy toll that these place on your body, creating illness in our bodies, depression, fear, and anger in our minds, and a state of unfriendliness seen in the whole world in the news. Even if one obtains a modicum of peace, it shatters easily with negative self talk and outside stimuli.
The answer to that question is quite simple but is most difficult to actually practice: Simplify, take one step at a time, watch your self chatter for content, breathe deeply, and smile.
Sounds so easy, doesn’t it? But if you take it seriously as a possible goal, you can watch your life change before your very eyes.
Each day, strive to experience your day, moment by moment. Notice how you are breathing: If it is shallow and upper chest only, your body is telling you that it is stressed. The cure is closing your eyes for a moment, begin to belly breathe, and slowly return to your reality of that moment. In that moment of quiet, examine the cause of the stress. Ask yourself if whatever it is will be worth shortening your life for. If it is not, awareness of a need for change can begin a transition to a calmer you, living longer and happier. Dr. Wayne Dyer stated: “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.”
Our “fight or flight” responses alter our reality every day. Rarely are we chased for our lives by tigers, lions, or bears. But that scheduling conflict, missed taxi, late for a meeting, child is sick and you don’t have a babysitter, or any other stressor in your reality does activate those responses to your body’s detriment. Firemen, police officers, soldiers, or anyone else in situations like that are taught box breathing to deal with stressors: Breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds, and hold for four seconds before beginning the breathe in process again.
Love is meant to be shared with others who share your life: A word of kindness to a busy check out clerk, a smile anywhere, a laugh to lighten the mood, a hug and kiss to personal relationships, saying, “I love you!” in a meaningful way. Love is very misunderstood in today’s fast-paced world. Some people think it is only a physical thing, but it is so much more than that. Basic respect and cordiality can go a long way in changing your reality with others you know well and strangers passing you like ships in the night. You cannot know how much good you can do to alter someone else’s life by a moment of kindness or a smile. If you pay attention to each one and begin to live and love fully in each exchange every day, this world can be changed greatly. Remember, there are no “do overs” so LIVE NOW. Create good memories.
That idea should include yourself. Our negative self chatter can ruin anything. It is so very powerful. Can you begin the day by looking at yourself in a mirror, give yourself a hug, and say, “I love you!” to that reflection you see? So many personal growth workshops begin with that idea. How can you love others if you do not love yourself first? Jesus said: “Love others AS you would yourself.” He did NOT say: Love others INSTEAD OF yourself. Some of us have been badly taught that such an idea is selfish and wrong. It is taught that others come first always. But can you give water out of an empty bucket? If you don’t find ways to personally fulfill who you really are, how can you give “water” to anyone else? God created you. There is only one of you, just like there is only one snowflake as all are unique.
Yet from childhood we learn that we want to please our authority figures at any cost, which we internalize and carry with us into adulthood. If interpersonal relationships are wrecking havoc in your life with negative self talk, etc., there are some delightful books that are easy reads which can then enable you to make magic changes:
“Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz
“Games People Play” by Eric Berne
“I’m OK – You’re OK” by Thomas Harris
“Rethinking Everything” by Neil Bright
Last night I finished watching “Limitless” on Disney Plus with Australian Actor Chris Hemsworth who plays Thor. It has six episodes and is National Geographic supported. Yes, you might thing that these are, for the most part, directed at very active people in the audience with extreme challenges not many could even think about, but if one is paying attention through all six episodes, one learns a lot about the effects of accidents, how to handle stress, and even life changing things like grief and poor health. I can recommend it to everyone, indeed, for the suggestions it plants in one’s mind.
Little things can cause big feelings and responses. They can grow exponentially. The more you feed with thought and emotions, they become mountains. However, if you take each item individually to examine its parts, you can gain control, causing perceptions to change. They can then become what they are: Little Things.
At any point, all the above can make a difference in your reality: You can be motivated to do the best you can under whatever circumstance you find yourself in. You can choose to live your life fully each and every day in spite of any external stimuli or situation you are in. It starts inside of you with self talk and deep breathing, mindfulness, and the awareness that you want to live all the days of your life in a better way. It is your choice. Awareness is the beginning of change.
God bless you each and every day, now and in the coming years as you continue on your journey! Peace, love, and laughter to you!
upliftingthoughts4u 