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Believe In Yourself

How many times have you heard, “Believe in yourself?”

If you begin at the very beginning, your self concept begins from the day you are born and continues to build as the days go by. The important people in your life, especially your parents or a teacher, can have great bearing on the formation of your personal identity. Whether or not you have low self-esteem issues, or perhaps you have a hard time expressing your opinions or standing up for yourself, you are a person with the ability to recognize any perceived short-comings you have. You also have the power to decide to change.

When I was young and in the above-mentioned state, I read Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. I came to many realizations as I read this book. I could see the common sense of it. I began to implement some changes. My husband at that time did not like the idea at all. In fact, he tore up my book into confetti-sized pieces, threw them at me as he exclaimed: “You cannot be a person because you are my wife!” Did the marriage last? No, because once I knew I could stand on my own two feet with the ability to make new choices, the situation was untenable.

If I were to look in a mirror today all these years later, I can celebrate because I married a man who truly wanted an intelligent mate who can think, act, and be the person I need to be – even while I am working with him, side by side, in harmony traces. (This is like a pair of horses, pulling a wagon, where the strengths of one aids the weaknesses of the other and vice versa, pulling the load equally.)

When I was a senior in high school (many years ago), I took Speech. Of course, I had to speak in front of the class. The person sitting in the first desk could not have really heard me – no projection, shy, slow of speech, etc. However, as I began to age, I discovered that I can be in a room of any size and be able to have everyone hear me without the aid of the microphone. How is this possible? It happened because I discovered that I could begin to unwrap my God-given gifts that I was born with and learn to use them to benefit myself and others.

When I was in elementary school, an art teacher, Mrs. Able, told me to never attempt to do anything in the art field. I was crushed and did not attempt any form of art for a long time. A few years back, I took an art class on my lunch break. My teacher made me promise to finish and frame my pencil drawing of a Norwhal, a collage I titled “Quietness,” and another collage in blue titled “Flight.” He told me I could put my works on  display in any gallery in town. So I ask you, “What made the difference?”

The answer is simple: I discovered some of the gifts that I possess and did, indeed, learn to use them. My self definition changed from “I can’t!” to either “I can!” or “I want to try something new.”

You, too, can discover that you are a unique human being with many gifts inside of you which need unwrapping. The words, “Believe In Yourself” take on new meaning as you find what you are capable of doing. As you begin to set aside the old tape recordings of how incapable you are, the more you begin to actually live your life more fully. You can decide to make new choices instead of rehashing old memories/words or beliefs.

The only question remaining is: Are you willing? It is, after all, entirely within your capabilities to recognize that a change is needed. Then you find out that just the process of recognizing that a change is needed actually begins a synergy that can carry you forward as far as you want to go.

God’s blessings upon your journey!

believe-in-yourself-kitty believe-in-yourself be-yourself how-do-i-see-myselfn attitude

 

 

Harmony Traces In a Relationship

Harmony Traces is an example of a couple who is pulling together, focusing their energies, money, and goals so that synergy occurs, creating the desired end result. It is the quintessence of cooperation.  This happens in less time than it would take two individuals working alone.

Have you ever tried to pull a heavy wagon all by yourself? It doesn’t work too well, does it? If you have two horses trying to pull a load, they are yoked together so the effort expended achieves the goal. That is what Harmony Traces is…pulling together.

For those who are familiar with Charlton Heston in the movie, “Ben Hur,” he is talking to the sheik’s four horses, telling each one of them their strengths. He told the sheik that they were harnessed incorrectly so that they would not hold a turn as they should. He then told him how each one should be placed so that their combined effort would be successful.

Life is a lot like that. However, I have found over the years that there are not many couples out there who are concerned with this. Life itself helps us to pick at our partners, dividing us, creating enmity and hurt feelings. The end result gets lost in the details.

Communication fails so badly that some couples just stop talking to their partners, trying to avoid another confrontation. It is just too painful to endure.

If you are feeling a separation with your important other, you need to ask yourself if you want it to continue. Or…do you want to do something about it?

If you decide to change the situation, there are many counselors, books, communication classes, etc. out there. If you truly want it, you just need to seek it.

Harmony Traces is not something that happens by magic. It is an idea you have to work towards. If there is something you need to discuss with your partner that is unpleasant, you have to start somewhere. Deciding when and where may be a delicate issue. But you begin the conversation, peacefully, calmly, and with a recognition of just how much you care for this person, communicating that first. Respecting others opinions, active listening, and responding appropriately are key here for both of you.

I saw in this one movie with Steve Martin where they had 12 kids between them. During a family meeting, they passed around the talking stick. Only the person with the stick could say something, and the rest had to listen. I have often thought about how valuable this idea is: Simple, easy, and doable. But when emotions get involved, people stop listening, respecting, and communicating. Guess what happens next? You got it: A full-fledged battle is underway. You can rest assured that feelings, memories, and words occur that you cannot take back or change.

Honesty and trust are developed over time. It does not grow like a mushroom, which can blossom overnight. It is more like the oak tree, slow to develop, but the growth is worth any effort in the long run.

All you have to do is to think about the idea of Harmony Traces as a worthwhile goal to strive for. This journey of a thousand miles will begin with this step. Are you willing to take it?

God’s blessings on your journey!

Mushrooms Blossom Quickly

Mushrooms Blossom Quickly

Oak Tree in Autumn - Beautiful to Behold!

Oak Tree in Autumn – Beautiful to Behold!

 

 

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