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Believe In Yourself

How many times have you heard, “Believe in yourself?”

If you begin at the very beginning, your self concept begins from the day you are born and continues to build as the days go by. The important people in your life, especially your parents or a teacher, can have great bearing on the formation of your personal identity. Whether or not you have low self-esteem issues, or perhaps you have a hard time expressing your opinions or standing up for yourself, you are a person with the ability to recognize any perceived short-comings you have. You also have the power to decide to change.

When I was young and in the above-mentioned state, I read Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. I came to many realizations as I read this book. I could see the common sense of it. I began to implement some changes. My husband at that time did not like the idea at all. In fact, he tore up my book into confetti-sized pieces, threw them at me as he exclaimed: “You cannot be a person because you are my wife!” Did the marriage last? No, because once I knew I could stand on my own two feet with the ability to make new choices, the situation was untenable.

If I were to look in a mirror today all these years later, I can celebrate because I married a man who truly wanted an intelligent mate who can think, act, and be the person I need to be – even while I am working with him, side by side, in harmony traces. (This is like a pair of horses, pulling a wagon, where the strengths of one aids the weaknesses of the other and vice versa, pulling the load equally.)

When I was a senior in high school (many years ago), I took Speech. Of course, I had to speak in front of the class. The person sitting in the first desk could not have really heard me – no projection, shy, slow of speech, etc. However, as I began to age, I discovered that I can be in a room of any size and be able to have everyone hear me without the aid of the microphone. How is this possible? It happened because I discovered that I could begin to unwrap my God-given gifts that I was born with and learn to use them to benefit myself and others.

When I was in elementary school, an art teacher, Mrs. Able, told me to never attempt to do anything in the art field. I was crushed and did not attempt any form of art for a long time. A few years back, I took an art class on my lunch break. My teacher made me promise to finish and frame my pencil drawing of a Norwhal, a collage I titled “Quietness,” and another collage in blue titled “Flight.” He told me I could put my works on  display in any gallery in town. So I ask you, “What made the difference?”

The answer is simple: I discovered some of the gifts that I possess and did, indeed, learn to use them. My self definition changed from “I can’t!” to either “I can!” or “I want to try something new.”

You, too, can discover that you are a unique human being with many gifts inside of you which need unwrapping. The words, “Believe In Yourself” take on new meaning as you find what you are capable of doing. As you begin to set aside the old tape recordings of how incapable you are, the more you begin to actually live your life more fully. You can decide to make new choices instead of rehashing old memories/words or beliefs.

The only question remaining is: Are you willing? It is, after all, entirely within your capabilities to recognize that a change is needed. Then you find out that just the process of recognizing that a change is needed actually begins a synergy that can carry you forward as far as you want to go.

God’s blessings upon your journey!

believe-in-yourself-kitty believe-in-yourself be-yourself how-do-i-see-myselfn attitude

 

 

Are You Singing Your Song?

Maya Angelou said: “A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer — it sings because it has a song.”

The Carpenters sang:

“Sing”

Sing, sing a song
Sing out loud
Sing out strong
Sing of good things not bad
Sing of happy not sad.
Sing, sing a song
Make it simple to last
Your whole life long
Don’t worry that it’s not
Good enough for anyone
Else to hear
Just sing, sing a song.
Sing, sing a song
Let the world sing along
Sing of love there could be
Sing for you and for me.
Sing, sing a song
Make it simple to last
Your whole life long
Don’t worry that it’s not
Good enough for anyone
Else to hear
Just sing, sing a song.

I personally think they got it exactly right, like the Little Bear’s chair, porridge, and bed in the Goldilocks tale.

The Story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears by Robert Southey

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks.  She  went for a walk in the forest.  Pretty soon, she came upon a house.  She knocked and, when no one answered, she walked right in.

At the table in the kitchen, there were three bowls of porridge.  Goldilocks was hungry.  She tasted the porridge from the first bowl.

“This porridge is too hot!” she exclaimed.

So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl.

“This porridge is too cold,” she said

So, she tasted the last bowl of porridge.

“Ahhh, this porridge is just right,” she said happily and she ate it all up.

After she’d eaten the three bears’ breakfasts she decided she was feeling a little tired.  So, she walked into the living room where she saw three chairs.  Goldilocks sat in the first chair to rest her feet.

“This chair is too big!” she exclaimed.

So she sat in the second chair.

“This chair is too big, too!”  she whined.

So she tried the last and smallest chair.

“Ahhh, this chair is just right,” she sighed.  But just as she settled down into the chair to rest, it broke into pieces!

Goldilocks was very tired by this time, so she went upstairs to the bedroom.  She lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard.  Then she lay in the second bed, but it was too soft.  Then she lay down in the third bed and it was just right.  Goldilocks fell asleep.

As she was sleeping, the three bears came home.

“Someone’s been eating my porridge,” growled the Papa bear.

“Someone’s been eating my porridge,” said the Mama bear.

“Someone’s been eating my porridge and they ate it all up!” cried the Baby bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair,” growled the Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair,” said the Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair and they’ve broken it all to pieces,” cried the Baby bear.

They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom, Papa bear growled, “Someone’s been sleeping in my bed,”

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed, too” said the Mama bear

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed and she’s still there!” exclaimed Baby bear.

Just then, Goldilocks woke up and saw the three bears.  She screamed, “Help!”  And she jumped up and ran out of the room.  Goldilocks ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the forest.  And she never returned to the home of the three bears.

THE END

I put in this story because I think that the stories I loved as a child are becoming lost and are not being told anymore.

We all have a song to sing, whether it is in tune or not, whether it sounds good or not, and whether anyone likes it or not. We each have something to contribute to this world. We are each made unique, with our own set of gifts that no one else possesses. We may not know what these gifts are and may never unwrap them in our lifetimes. Isn’t that a sad thought? I see it repeatedly in the lives of people I know.

“Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.” Oliver Wendell Holmes

This truth rings in my heart every day. It is why I put so much effort into both my blog and http://www.WFosterWelborn.com blog and his books. I want his song to be heard by as many as seek to know his works. The effort I have put forth has been blessed as the messages have reached out to others around the globe. I shall continue to sing my song.

How about you? Isn’t it time for you to unwrap your gifts and start singing as well?

God’s blessings upon your journey!

The old Classic

What Is Your Point Of Reference/Perception?

PERCEPTIONS are a wonderful key to personal growth because you will only be able to recognize in your reality whatever your point of reference is. It is your BELIEFS about your life that act like a fence – it keeps what you like/understand inside and separates whatever you don’t want on the outside. Then it gets confusing – we want something very much but believe we are not worthy. Guess what you get? You are right – ZIP – nothing. One cannot put opposing thoughts and emotions out there because they neutralize each other.

The dictionary defines PERCEPTIONS as: “mental grasp of objects, qualities, etc. by means of the senses; awareness; comprehension; insight or intuition, or the faculty for these; the understanding, knowledge, etc. got by perceiving, or a specific idea, concept, impression, etc. so formed.”

One example is religion – one tends to include everything in one’s life according to a creed or a set of rules/ideas promulgated by that specific church, synagogue, or mosque. All else is suspect and excluded, as are any people who do not believe the same identical way. Many then are urged from the pulpit or lectern to proselytize (to try to convert a person to one’s religion). In other words, others must act in accordance with your personal beliefs. The only problem with that is that GOD DID NOT MAKE US LIKE PRINGLES!

Each one of us is UNIQUE – as in one of a kind. We are a special blend of our positive and negative traits.

Some people are unable to look at their clothing choices, personality reactions and interactions, or even look at their reality clearly. They do not trust their own judgment to decide on what to wear, what to say, or how to act in given situations. Some people, particularly women, are put down so long that they begin to believe they are actually worthless, wrong, and hopeless. This sometimes happens to men, too, however. Lack of self esteem prohibits growth, absolutely.

In personal growth classes, we are given a form to appraise our personal attributes. Many times, I have seen others turn to their coworkers and ask them how to answer…Are they friendly? Are they personable? Do they dress appropriately? I was always amazed that self-evaluation is impossible for them. After the years have come and gone, however, I find that it all boils down to BELIEFS and PERCEPTIONS. Some of these were implanted in us by an authority figure when we were very young and unable to separate the good stuff from the bad.

“So what do I do now?”  You might ask. The answer is really quite simple. You must be ever watchful of your thoughts, behaviors, and actions. Personal Growth books, teachers, workshop leaders, etc., all may have a piece of learning that is right for you so you can analyze your life in order to begin modifying your reactions, words, and thoughts – dispose of those that are not in line with who you are today. When you catch yourself asking, “Why did I just do that?” Do not blow it off. Look at it. Think of other ways you could have done something differently. Do not think, “Well, that is just who I am, and it is too late to change now.” It is NEVER TOO LATE!

If you want to test how you feel about yourself, go to a mirror and study your reflection. Do you immediately start criticizing what you see there? Guess where those comments begin…from long ago and far away. The question is: Do you want to change that reflection? All you have to do is ask that question of yourself. Awareness that a change is needed is the beginning of it. Then you take a class, buy a different outfit, or make a list of what needs changing. It is not hard. You just have to take that step. Are you willing?

Our world is changing so fast. Information transmission has never been this good. News travels around the world in minutes. When you hear it, you have an inner reaction that is based on both your BELIEFS and PERCEPTIONS. Do you ever think about it from a different PERSPECTIVE? Do you buy into what the spin doctors are putting out? You must know that these people are in every political arena in the world. So think through your reactions before you send money, write a letter, or talk about it. WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT, YOU BRING ABOUT! DO YOU REALLY WANT ALL THESE NEGATIVE SITUATIONS TO GET WORSE? YOU ARE EMPHASIZING WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT!

Sounds crazy, does it not? You can pray for others and ask for guidance and comfort for them, including all others. You can take whatever action you deem appropriate for those caught in disasters, which seem to happen daily now somewhere in this world.

Life unfolds before us daily with each choice we make. Do you want to stay in your squirrel cage, just running around in a circle and getting nowhere? Or do you want to get out of that cage and begin anew. IT IS YOURS TO CHOOSE!

Just because you bought into your points of reference and perceptions at a very young age, does not mean you cannot change them. It just takes more effort. Are you willing to look at your daily life to see what needs a change in perspective?

I was taught from the beginning that I could never do anything right. It was always about being wrong. (Do you know anybody who parents like this? Of course, you do. It is as normal as apple pie.) Until I was 19, I actually believed that. Then I learned to ice skate. I could do something right! This was a life-changing event for me. From there, I have learned many things, done many hobbies, and had lots of adventures. I am grateful that I learned that I could change. I am ever aware, even now, of things that I need to change. I make a plan to achieve that end, and put it into action. Life is not static. All you have to do is look at the natural world to see how the seed becomes the plant, blossom, wilts, and goes to seed.  If you are taking personal responsibility for your life, you can institute a plan to begin today to make a difference in your life. Are you willing?

God’s blessings upon your journey!

Change Your Direction

Change Your Direction

Louise Hay: Changes

Louise Hay: Changes

 

Autumn - Metamorphosis: Change

Autumn – Metamorphosis: Change

 

 

 

Change Your Orbit?

Your orbit/life path has been created by all the choices you have made to date. Your trajectory is thereby something that can be projected from today into the future. Is that a scary idea (if you are not happy with your orbit/life path)? Or is it something to look forward to and anticipate? Perhaps some of each, like the Pushmi-pullyu from Doctor Dolittle?

Sometimes, our orbits/life paths are greatly affected by other people in our lives. Sometimes it is a mate, a child, a boss, a supervisor, a job, or some other important person like a parent. Sometimes we give our power away to others…we let them dictate to us what our lives should be like and do what they want in lieu of what we know, innately, is best for us, whether they agree or not. Sometimes we want others to tell us what to do because we feel hopelessly lost in the wilderness. That can be anything from psychic readings, tarot card readings, or even a priest or minister.

The message here is that each person is a Divine Creation of God, Unique, Special, with lessons to be learned on this planet, which is the third rock from the sun. The Truth is that each person controls his/her destiny, which is revealed every day though the choices that are made.

Have you always wanted to take a class to improve your mind, expand your awareness, or just for fun? What is keeping you from achieving that? Have you a list of books to read…someday, when you have time? These books not only add energy and knowledge, but they can give you the momentum to escape your current orbit and create a new one.

The difference between an old orbit/life path/trajectory and a new one is that something has to change.

W. Foster Welborn has a saying: “You cannot keep doing what you have been doing and expect you will get different results!”

In order to get different results, something has to added to your life that becomes the new beginning you seek.

If you want to be more healthy, you have to put down that donut or Danish and select a protein and a fruit. In lieu of that bottomless cup of caffeine, you need to drink more water. Instead of catching the elevator or escalator, you need to walk some stairs. Instead of collapsing on the couch at night with  a remote in your hands, you need to set aside some time that fits your schedule and actually do something physical: Take a walk, ride a bike, take an exercise class, lift some weights, get on that exercise machine you bought (which is now a clothes hanger) and actually use it! Consistent effort here will pay off in so many ways, from a healthier you to a much happier you because, yes, exercise actually does lift the spirit!

Life’s daily demands of living, tasks to be done, obligations that we feel are required, etc., can use up every second of every day, with no room for anything else.

Your family, loved ones, and friends are important to you. Caring for them is vital. Do you take the time every single day to sit down and look into that person’s eyes and communicate with him/her, touching them like a hug or a kiss on the cheek? Your presence is a gift that no one can take away. Even a few minutes can make a difference over time. If you start when the child is young, for example, by the time they are a teenager with other priorities, they will still accept your presence. It is never too late to start.

I have read statistics that say that families are much more liable to text each other, even in the same room or in the same house, than they are to get up and go communicate face-to-face. One can laugh about this, but think of the opportunities you miss by doing it! Perhaps you might save some time, but at what cost? I have even heard that there are couples who can sit across from each other at a table and actually be texting each other!

Conversation is a lost art in our society, for the most part. Over a hundred years ago, they knew how to use words. They utilized a lot of words that have fallen out of use today because no one bothers with them anymore.

Are you willing to take a look at your orbit/life path to see if there is something that needs changing? Perhaps a choice that could be made differently if you took a class, like Assertiveness Training? Make a list – write it down. It takes it out of your head and gives you an objective to examine.

Only you have the power to change your trajectory. Are you willing to do that? It has power, Synergy, and life-fulfilling moments just waiting for you!

God bless your journey!

 

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