Relationships’ Harmony Traces
Many people have already read “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman. They are:
- Acts of Service
- Words of Affirmation
- Physical Touch
- Quality Time
- Gift Giving
This book is so very worth the time to read as it has good, practical methods for filling each other’s love tanks and bringing peace to the home.
However, to this I would add another idea: Harmony Traces
When horses are pulling a load, their strengths and weaknesses are balanced by hooking them together using Harmony Traces. This can be seen in the “Ten Commandments” with Charlton Heston as he rearranged the sheik’s horses so each one could pull with its particular strength, making the pulling more powerful and equal.
Relationships are the same. If two people are in Harmony Traces, whatever the goal, both can pull their share till success is achieved because pulling together multiplies exponentially the pulling power and shortens the route to completion. The opposite then is also true, when little of the quality of Harmony Traces is utilized, it takes a lot longer, produces more friction, and perhaps prohibiting reaching any goal at all. It can be quite the conflagration in that case, perhaps ruining the good feelings one has and eliminating any future possibilities.
No matter the goal, both need to agree on how to achieve it. It includes everything from money goals, cleaning a house, who takes out the trash, or anything from a small task to a major one. Communication is key here, with no “magic thinking” where the other just “knows what to do.” Writing things down actually helps because it solidifies the goals. If one is aware that dirty dishes or refrigerator is just abhorrent to the mate, just honor that by quickly cleaning up the problem as an act of love. Discuss the use of money but do not argue. Discuss planned spending and personal values. Leave nothing to chance. If one demands money to spend while the other is striving to save, anger and resentment will arise and show its ugly face.
Reciprocity is vital! Relationships should be a two-way street. One horse cannot do the work of two. Each has the responsibility to share the load/duties.
Listening to others has become a lost art. Usually, when one person is talking, the other is forming a response–that is not Active Listening. Make an effort to hear what the other is saying, and do not let your own emotions get in your way. One suggestion is to paraphrase what you just heard so that the other knows you actually heard what was said. If yelling starts, it is because that person thinks one has to accelerate in order to be heard. Acknowledging the anger and what you heard can decelerate the situation to talking level again, like pricking a balloon with a pin. Anger cannot be maintained.
Many couples have problems because they treat their friends better than their loved one. They are more respectful to a friend while being disrespectful to a loved one. That makes no sense. “Please!” “and “Thank you!” are always frequently applied in a good relationship. It’s like “a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down!” as in “Mary Poppins.”
In short, using the 5 Love Languages’ techniques and intentionally (with forethought) using Harmony Traces, the love tanks of both can be readily filled. This enables Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs” to be met more easily and self-actualization for both parties of a relationship can be accomplished.
Lastly: LAUGH TOGETHER OFTEN! OPEN YOURSELF TO SEE THE BEAUTY OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS!
God’s blessings on your journey.
Posted in Uplifting Thoughts
Tags: active listening, Beauty, blessings, communication, emotions, Gary Chapman's "5 Love Languages", God, Harmony Traces, journey, Laugh, life, love tanks, magic thinking, metaphysics, money goals, New Age, New thought, reciprocity, respectful, strengths, thoughts, Truth, two-way street, understanding, weaknesses, wisdom
Is Life Serious, Seriously?
Have you looked at yourself in a mirror today? If so, what did you see? Was your countenance pleasant? Could you smile at yourself in the mirror. Could you check yourself out in the mirror and say, “Lookin’ good!”…?
Or do you see sad eyes, downcast, and a tearful look on your face? Or perhaps you see someone who is extremely angry over something, real or not, in proportion or not? There are many negative emotions out there that can become a way of life for us, instead of a passing moment.
We all imagine our lives to be different than they are…perhaps a path not taken earlier changed your available options to something less than ideal. Lots of things happen to each and every one of us on every day we live. Some good, some not-so-good.
Oscar Wilde stated: “Life is too important to be taken seriously.”
I have to constantly remind myself to lighten up, find a reason to laugh, and even a giggle qualifies. Good thoughts can lift your spirit. Prayer is a great tool as well because it gets you outside of your own head (read that as hamster in a cage).
The key here is that you have to look for these opportunities so you can be aware of them.
Unfortunately, too many of us wallow in the problems, without a glimmer of light to show us the way out of our difficulties.
Yes, sometimes there are life-threatening happenings in our life…certainly not the time to laugh about it. But a bit of humor definitely changes an outlook. It also multiplies the quintessential possibilities available to us all.
There is so very much in our everyday world that could cause us dismay. Just look at the news casts. We have compassion for our fellow travelers on this planet and for the agonies they face.
But the main thing is: Life has to be lived from the inside of us, going outward to our world. We each have our own, you know. Your world is not mine. Conversely, mine is not yours. We each have different acquaintances, different beliefs, different thoughts, and different ways of communicating. If I am to make a difference in my world, I have chosen to use words to add more light along the paths my readers take, and I know I am personally able to share thoughts with others that they may raise their awareness, which changes their choices.
I choose the light of positive thoughts over the darkness of negative ones, which lead to no good end. If we are ever to find our way, we must find our own light for our path. The question is, are you willing to be open to that possibility? You are the one who needs to raise your awareness so you can see other options available to you.
God’s blessings on your journey.
Posted in Uplifting Thoughts
Tags: awareness, beliefs, choices, difference, emotions turbulent, giggle, good, journey, Laugh, life, light, metaphysics, negative, New Age, New thought, opportunities, options, positive, possibilities, prayer, quintessential, thoughts, Truth, understanding, wisdom, world
Live, Love, Laugh!
This particular threesome is visible everywhere – on cars, plaques, walls, etc. Sometimes it is:
It could be very esoteric (beyond the understanding or knowledge of most people, as defined by the dictionary). It could just be that it is so simple, its deeper meanings are overlooked in the chaotic, busy world we live in. Certainly, many things occupy are thoughts from the second we wake up to the minute we go to bed.
But taking a deep breath and pausing, just looking at the three above phrases, ask yourself, “What comes to my mind?”
Live Well could immediately be translated into a materialistic ideal in lieu of being happy with your life and how you are living it.
Laugh Often could be nullified by the stress you are feeling at this moment over many situations in your life which you do not feel you have any control over, engendering a sense of hopelessness.
Love Much could simply be an erotic invitation to enjoy the flesh and its ecstasies, or it could make you think, “Have I told my loved ones today how very much I love them, appreciate them, enjoy them?” You know, with all the tragedies that have happened in this world in these past few years, I wonder how many people passed on without hearing that simple phrase?
Live, Love, and Laugh are my personal commandment for every moment of my day, every single day I am alive. I want the people in my life to know how very much I appreciate them. I do not want anyone to doubt that, ever. Each one is a gem in his/her own right – unique, special, one-of-a-kind. No matter how small they are, or what age they are, or how I know them. It matters not to me. I want to cherish each and every one, and I want them to know it. Life is too short to do otherwise. I want to look each one in the eye and let them know that I am listening to what they have to say. Each relationship, no matter if it is a busy store clerk who is obviously having a bad day, or a long-term friend, deserves not only my attention, but a smile as well. (You might be surprised at the lift a simple smile can accomplish, or a small act of kindness.)
Life passes us by through simple inaction, words unspoken, feelings unexpressed, and good intentions never fulfilled because one runs out of time. That happens with every minute of every day as it becomes history from this present moment.
You have to ask yourself, “Do I want to write a note today to just say Hi to a lonely friend, or a dear one I have gotten out of touch with, or even a note of forgiveness to someone (whether it is ever sent or not)?” Perhaps even a phone call, an email, or a Facebook, Twitter, etc.
Love is more than a feeling – it is a state of mind. If you are coming from a LOVE perspective, you act differently than you would if it comes from any other point of view.
Laughter, alias Levity, is a cure-all of just about every negative emotion we can muster. Sometimes we feel like the tail end of the dog, instead of the nose or ears. We get wagged a lot – by others, by situations, by things we believe are not under our control. Laughter has so many gifts to share. Yet, in this serious world so many of us live in, Laughter is the exception, not the rule. Isn’t that truly a sad state of affairs?
When I say Laughter, I also mean the state of mind known as JOY or Inner Joy. It is a sense that all is OK in your world. Is it? Or not?
You could ask, “What do I have to be Happy about?” Then follow that with a diatribe of complaints. Now I ask you, does that make you feel any better? Doubt it.
In your negativity, may I ask you, “When was the last time you went outdoors to experience Nature at her Best?” I find that even a trip to an indoor area where there are plants helps when the weather outside is adverse. When it is not, step outside. Find something from Mother Nature to admire. You will find your heart lifted like magic, your stress will disappear, and your perspective will lighten and improve.
Are you willing to make the move from the dog’s tail and go up to the ears or nose? You do control your destiny. Declare it to be so.
Look for my three friends: Live, Love, and Laugh in all their fullness. May your step be lighter, your heart happier, your breath much deeper, and your life more meaningful. God bless you on your journey!
Posted in Uncategorized
Tags: appreciate, breath, cherish, enjoy, esoteric, good intentions, hopelessness, inner joy, journey, joy, kindness, Laugh, Laugh Often, live, Live Well, Love, Love Much, magic, meaningful, metaphysics, Mother Nature, New Age, New thought, perspective, stress, thoughts, tragedies, Truth, understanding, wisdom