Relationships’ Harmony Traces
Many people have already read “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman. They are:
- Acts of Service
- Words of Affirmation
- Physical Touch
- Quality Time
- Gift Giving
This book is so very worth the time to read as it has good, practical methods for filling each other’s love tanks and bringing peace to the home.
However, to this I would add another idea: Harmony Traces
When horses are pulling a load, their strengths and weaknesses are balanced by hooking them together using Harmony Traces. This can be seen in the “Ten Commandments” with Charlton Heston as he rearranged the sheik’s horses so each one could pull with its particular strength, making the pulling more powerful and equal.
Relationships are the same. If two people are in Harmony Traces, whatever the goal, both can pull their share till success is achieved because pulling together multiplies exponentially the pulling power and shortens the route to completion. The opposite then is also true, when little of the quality of Harmony Traces is utilized, it takes a lot longer, produces more friction, and perhaps prohibiting reaching any goal at all. It can be quite the conflagration in that case, perhaps ruining the good feelings one has and eliminating any future possibilities.
No matter the goal, both need to agree on how to achieve it. It includes everything from money goals, cleaning a house, who takes out the trash, or anything from a small task to a major one. Communication is key here, with no “magic thinking” where the other just “knows what to do.” Writing things down actually helps because it solidifies the goals. If one is aware that dirty dishes or refrigerator is just abhorrent to the mate, just honor that by quickly cleaning up the problem as an act of love. Discuss the use of money but do not argue. Discuss planned spending and personal values. Leave nothing to chance. If one demands money to spend while the other is striving to save, anger and resentment will arise and show its ugly face.
Reciprocity is vital! Relationships should be a two-way street. One horse cannot do the work of two. Each has the responsibility to share the load/duties.
Listening to others has become a lost art. Usually, when one person is talking, the other is forming a response–that is not Active Listening. Make an effort to hear what the other is saying, and do not let your own emotions get in your way. One suggestion is to paraphrase what you just heard so that the other knows you actually heard what was said. If yelling starts, it is because that person thinks one has to accelerate in order to be heard. Acknowledging the anger and what you heard can decelerate the situation to talking level again, like pricking a balloon with a pin. Anger cannot be maintained.
Many couples have problems because they treat their friends better than their loved one. They are more respectful to a friend while being disrespectful to a loved one. That makes no sense. “Please!” “and “Thank you!” are always frequently applied in a good relationship. It’s like “a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down!” as in “Mary Poppins.”
In short, using the 5 Love Languages’ techniques and intentionally (with forethought) using Harmony Traces, the love tanks of both can be readily filled. This enables Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs” to be met more easily and self-actualization for both parties of a relationship can be accomplished.
Lastly: LAUGH TOGETHER OFTEN! OPEN YOURSELF TO SEE THE BEAUTY OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS!
God’s blessings on your journey.
Posted in Uplifting Thoughts
Tags: active listening, Beauty, blessings, communication, emotions, Gary Chapman's "5 Love Languages", God, Harmony Traces, journey, Laugh, life, love tanks, magic thinking, metaphysics, money goals, New Age, New thought, reciprocity, respectful, strengths, thoughts, Truth, two-way street, understanding, weaknesses, wisdom
Celebrate the Presence of God In You
Celebrate the Presence of God In You – not the Absence.
No matter what your definition is of God, Religion, Spirit, Oneness,etc., and what name you call it: God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Jehovah, Brahman, Buddha, Ahura Marda, Tao, Allah, Logos, etc. = It is all the same.
God is life – the essence of our breath. He/She/It/Oneness/Jehovah/Jesus/Allah, etc., is in us at this very moment.
Christians view Salvation as an expression of a recognition of an Outer God, which then brings rebirth into the inner being. In truth, it is a recognition of an inner truth – we are all children of God. The important point here is that one needs to recognize that Presence inside of us, no matter what religion you are. As long as one is praying to a Supreme Being outside of us, we cannot arrive at the At-one-ment where we are companions, walking and talking to an essence that will guide us every moment of every day. Some call it Holy Spirit. Some call it by other names. It is the idea that you can bow before a Buddha, a cross, a statue of Jesus or Mary, and feel that oneness of spirit so you can live your daily life in a holy (spell that wholeness) way, trying to be a better person. It is that joining that makes a difference.
It would appear that many of us are caught up with the idea of being “right” – as defined by: You think, act, and talk just like me. The world now calls it “Mini-me.” If I make a statement about my religious beliefs, I am not looking for you to agree with me. However, many people want to hear only agreement in return, or they feel you are “wrong” or “do not believe correctly.” Then they want to proselytize you into thinking like they do. Hence, they are always “right.”
The idea that God forms a personal relationship to each and every person – even in the same church or place of worship – would be heresy. After all, there are rules, creeds, and guidelines established by every religious sect that defines how each one may come to know God/Jesus/Spirit/Jehovah/Allah, etc. The rules go on ad infinitum ad nauseam. So each and every individual that participates must abide by all of these or risk being excommunicated or even killed in some places in this world.
I sometimes wonder what the God/ Spirit, otherwise called He/She/It/Oneness/Jesus/Allah/Tao/Brahman/Jehovah/Logos/Ahura Marda/Buddha, etc., thinks of all of these separating behaviors?
Religious Wars have been fought since time immemorial over them. Many immigrants came to the United States for the freedom to worship as they pleased. In fact, this country was founded on this very principle. But today, political correctness denies us that very right to pray and worship as we please, wherever we want, whenever we want, in public or in private. There are many factions in this world who are trying to impose their religious ideas on others, forcefully, fearfully, and sadly.
Here’s a new idea: How about respecting each and every person’s belief system? Now that would be unique! I don’t have to force feed you, and you do not feel compelled to do the same to me and others.
Every person must come to their own understanding/connection with the Supreme Being of the Universe. It is not up to me or anyone else to do it for that person.
My connection is a very personal communication, every minute of every day, with the One I believe in/pray to/walk with/talk with.
Acts 17:28 states: “For in him we live, and move, and have our being.” Could that be any clearer?
You might ask, “How do I begin to make my own connection with this Being?” Answer: Matthew 7:7 states: Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”
If one knocks at a door, how does one enter in? Simple — the door is opened from the inside.
Hence, you hold the key to your belief. You must open up to the idea of One God for all. No one can do it for you.
Why would a Supreme Being — who demonstrates to us the multiplicity of His Creation — ask us to make others into Pringles or Mini-me’s?
Answer: Would not happen.
If each one of us could take a look at our belief systems and give others the basic respect of doing the same, the whole world would benefit. It could become more peaceful and loving, instantly.
Are you willing to try it? After all, peace can only happen one person at a time, one day at a time, one incident at a time. You can make a significant difference if you will only attempt this. It’s in your hands.
God’s blessings upon your journey.
Below are examples of the Supreme Being’s multiplicity in His Creation:
Fall Aspen Trees & Evergreens Snow Storm in Rocky Mountains Four Deer
Pied-billed Grebe Chukar Male Bald Eagle
Aspen Colors Trapper’s Peak Area God’s Majestic Beauty
Blue Grouse in Aspen Tree Purple Mountain’s Majesty Peace-filled Beauty
Autumn Colors Metamorphosis Time Last Rose of Autumn
Posted in Uplifting Thoughts
Tags: Acts 17:28, Ahura Marda, Allah, Belief System, beliefs, blessings, Brahman, Buddha, communication, connection, Creation, God, Holy Spirit, Jehovah, Jesus, journey, Logos, Love, Matthew 7:7, metaphysics, New Age, New thought, oneness, Peace, prayer, respect, Supreme Being, Tao, thoughts, Truth, understanding, wisdom
Harmony Traces In a Relationship
Harmony Traces is an example of a couple who is pulling together, focusing their energies, money, and goals so that synergy occurs, creating the desired end result. It is the quintessence of cooperation. This happens in less time than it would take two individuals working alone.
Have you ever tried to pull a heavy wagon all by yourself? It doesn’t work too well, does it? If you have two horses trying to pull a load, they are yoked together so the effort expended achieves the goal. That is what Harmony Traces is…pulling together.
For those who are familiar with Charlton Heston in the movie, “Ben Hur,” he is talking to the sheik’s four horses, telling each one of them their strengths. He told the sheik that they were harnessed incorrectly so that they would not hold a turn as they should. He then told him how each one should be placed so that their combined effort would be successful.
Life is a lot like that. However, I have found over the years that there are not many couples out there who are concerned with this. Life itself helps us to pick at our partners, dividing us, creating enmity and hurt feelings. The end result gets lost in the details.
Communication fails so badly that some couples just stop talking to their partners, trying to avoid another confrontation. It is just too painful to endure.
If you are feeling a separation with your important other, you need to ask yourself if you want it to continue. Or…do you want to do something about it?
If you decide to change the situation, there are many counselors, books, communication classes, etc. out there. If you truly want it, you just need to seek it.
Harmony Traces is not something that happens by magic. It is an idea you have to work towards. If there is something you need to discuss with your partner that is unpleasant, you have to start somewhere. Deciding when and where may be a delicate issue. But you begin the conversation, peacefully, calmly, and with a recognition of just how much you care for this person, communicating that first. Respecting others opinions, active listening, and responding appropriately are key here for both of you.
I saw in this one movie with Steve Martin where they had 12 kids between them. During a family meeting, they passed around the talking stick. Only the person with the stick could say something, and the rest had to listen. I have often thought about how valuable this idea is: Simple, easy, and doable. But when emotions get involved, people stop listening, respecting, and communicating. Guess what happens next? You got it: A full-fledged battle is underway. You can rest assured that feelings, memories, and words occur that you cannot take back or change.
Honesty and trust are developed over time. It does not grow like a mushroom, which can blossom overnight. It is more like the oak tree, slow to develop, but the growth is worth any effort in the long run.
All you have to do is to think about the idea of Harmony Traces as a worthwhile goal to strive for. This journey of a thousand miles will begin with this step. Are you willing to take it?
God’s blessings on your journey!
Posted in Uplifting Thoughts
Tags: battle, Ben Hur, blessings, change, Charlton Heston, communication, couples, goal, God, Harmony Traces, honesty, journey, life, magic, metaphysics, mushroom, New Age, New thought, oak tree, pulling together, respect, talking stick, trust, Truth, understanding, willing, wisdom
Common Courtesy Is Now Uncommon
The Old-Time Common Courtesy has become a dinosaur. Road Rage rules in lieu of being courteous and letting someone in when they put on a turn signal.
How many times have you seen the extra effort of someone, male or female, holding a door open so others can pass through, elderly, handicapped, or not? Not very often, I am sure. If it does happen, it is marked in your memory because it is the exception instead of the rule.
Gentle caring and respect, which you freely give to friends and acquaintances, is frequently denied to your mate, your life’s companion. When was the last time you said, “Please,” or “Thank you?” It does not matter if it is for holding a door open or paying for a meal, do you hear this from your mate as well?
Rough places in a marriage can be made a lot smoother with common courtesy. “My way or the highway!” has become a descriptive phrase for male and female alike. Since when did it become a power struggle?
Marriages, as well as friendships, need kindness, cooperation, and basic respect. Yet in this day, it seems that the “ME” attitude reigns a lot. The men try to please their ladies, and the ladies do the same. Yet it is only a surface thing in lieu of heart to heart. A man buys his lady flowers or jewelry to get out of the dog house. A woman cooks his favorite meal or attempts to please him to resolve a conflict. The real issue here is lack of good communication.
You have to ask yourself: “If I love this person (be it friend or mate), how do I treat them? Is common courtesy an element present in every moment, or rarely? How does this person respond? Do I need to change my acts of appreciation so that he/she knows how much I care?” In short, look at your communication skills.
This can hold true for on-the-job situations as well. Common courtesy is vital to good relations with anyone, whether it is a salesclerk who is waiting on you, someone does an ARK (Act of Random Kindness) for you, or even someone who is a “thorn in your side.” After all, the only person you can control is yourself. You need to ask yourself, “What am I thinking?” Are you responding to a negative in a situation? Is it in retaliation for some slight, or is it a thoughtful word or deed? “Am I ACTING or REACTING?”
Dr. Wayne Dyer states: “You cannot give away what you don’t have inside. If you squeeze an orange, you expect to get orange juice. If you are squeezed, you may give away only that which you contemplate about, positive or negative.”
If you ponder that, ask yourself, “What am I expressing?” It is, after all, your choice.
“What you think about, you bring about!” Always!!!!!
God’s blessings on your journey!
Posted in Uplifting Thoughts
Tags: appreciation, ARK (Act of Random Kindness), choices, communication, Companion, courteous, courtesy, friendships, journey, marriage, marriages, mate, metaphysics, negative, New Age, New thought, positive, power, road rage, think about, thoughts, Truth, understanding, wisdom