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Common Courtesy Is Now Uncommon

The Old-Time Common Courtesy has become a dinosaur. Road Rage rules in lieu of being courteous and letting someone in when they put on a turn signal.

How many times have you seen the extra effort of someone, male or female, holding a door open so others can pass through, elderly, handicapped, or not? Not very often, I am sure. If it does happen, it is marked in your memory because it is the exception instead of the rule.

Gentle caring and respect, which you freely give to friends and acquaintances, is frequently denied to your mate, your life’s companion. When was the last time you said, “Please,” or “Thank you?” It does not matter if it is for holding a door open or paying for a meal, do you hear this from your mate as well?

Rough places in a marriage can be made a lot smoother with common courtesy. “My way or the highway!” has become a descriptive phrase for male and female alike. Since when did it become a power struggle?

Marriages, as well as friendships, need kindness, cooperation, and basic respect. Yet in this day, it seems that the “ME” attitude reigns a lot. The men try to please their ladies, and the ladies do the same. Yet it is only a surface thing in lieu of heart to heart. A man buys his lady flowers or jewelry to get out of the dog house. A woman cooks his favorite meal or attempts to please him to resolve a conflict. The real issue here is lack of good communication.

You have to ask yourself: “If I love this person (be it friend or mate), how do I treat them? Is common courtesy an element present in every moment, or rarely? How does this person respond? Do I need to change my acts of appreciation so that he/she knows how much I care?” In short, look at your communication skills.

This can hold true for on-the-job situations as well. Common courtesy is vital to good relations with anyone, whether it is a salesclerk who is waiting on you, someone does an ARK (Act of Random Kindness) for you, or even someone who is a “thorn in your side.” After all, the only person you can control is yourself. You need to ask yourself, “What am  I thinking?” Are you responding to a negative in a situation? Is it in retaliation for some slight, or is it a thoughtful word or deed? “Am I ACTING or REACTING?”

Dr. Wayne Dyer states: “You cannot give away what you don’t have inside. If you squeeze an orange, you expect to get orange juice. If you are squeezed, you may give away only that which you contemplate about, positive or negative.”

If you ponder that, ask yourself, “What am I expressing?” It is, after all, your choice.

“What you think about, you bring about!” Always!!!!!

God’s blessings on your journey!

 

Balanced Living

There is a Divine Polarity to all of life. Magnets have positive and negative poles. Most of our learning comes to us in that manner. We find out what we do not want after we get it, and thereby learn what we really do want and need. Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it?

Some examples are:

Joy vs. Sadness

Truth vs. Lies

Peace vs. Chaos

Beauty vs. Ugliness

Life vs. Death

Love vs. Hate

Light vs. Darkness

Laughter vs. Tears

Good vs. Bad

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone, and, after it is over, said to yourself, “Well, I’ll never do that again! I will change my choices. I will ask more questions. I will be able to see that quality in someone else before I get involved.” Yet, sometimes history repeats itself?

We learn by bumps in the road, apparently, as a species.

I love the Pushmi-Pullyu in the Doctor Dolittle series. I have found that life is not all one thing or all another. It is usually a mixture of both polarities. The questions is: Can you separate them out clearly enough to be able to change your choices?

Add in the idea that rarely is anything simple. Usually, it is some of each. Whether it be a job, relationships, raising children, or any other topic that comes to mind. I personally know people who stay in a bad relationship because they have become vested in it–stuff rules as do habits. So they stay in the same old toxic atmosphere year in and year out. You can say the same for a job. Vesting dictates because one cannot afford a lower wage or whatever it takes to make a change. Raising children has its joys and its heart aches because these are little beings with an idea of how they want life to be and seek it out at their level, which may not be the wisest course. In short, simplicity is difficult, if not impossible, to find. That does not mean that one should not seek it. It only means that it is a gem of great price and should be sought after with due diligence.

There are positive aspects of all the above. Having been in a bad marriage or relationship, one can then seek more wisely to find a mate who is more compatible. If one is unhappy with the workaday life they have created, for whatever reason, one can seek that which will make them happier. Some Wall Street workers quit that life style and go to the country, finding a different way to live. Some go to college so they can change their resumes. In short, one can seek that which will give him/her a more positive balance in living.

Life is not like walking a tight rope without a safety net. Mankind can learn, grow, and change at will. Fear keeps us from doing that. It has been said that Fear of the Unknown is the greatest reason for not seeking a better answer. What one knows is better than looking for a challenge. The sameness of daily living is secure, no matter what the Happiness Quotient is.

I have been fortunate because I have accepted the challenges and sought Change and Balance in Living. I know what I want my life to look like. I have had to learn Forgiveness of myself and others in my journey. I have never thought that I would rather live alone than try to find that certain someone who will be my  Best Friend for the rest of my life, someone I could grow old with, and someone who will be on the other end of this relationship. After all, relationships are TWO-WAY STREETS, not one-way. If one person is giving all the time while the other is taking all the time, no Happiness Quotient can be found.  I have said that relationships are like a waltz, and I would rather dance through life with my partner than have somebody who is out of synch and not on the same page. I have been most fortunate to find my Best Friend. I would wish the same for you.

I started this article with many positive qualities which I consider necessary for my life. I endeavor to achieve my balance with them in some way, every day. I look for them. I accentuate their presence in my life. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, which are also present daily, I look for some way to lighten the day with laughter and the other ideas.

How about you? Are you willing to look at your Happiness Quotient and seek new ways to find Balance in Living? You will find that it is worth the time and effort to think about, seek, and find. Even if your life is good, it can always be better. Are you interested?

May your journey be blessed in every way. 🙂

 

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