S — — T Happens! Good Happens. These sayings are both true. We see them on car bumpers and on walls. Have you given them any thought at all? Do you just react to the bad stuff, without analyzing it? When good things happen to you, are you joy-filled? Sometimes, we are reluctant to enjoy that moment because we fear that something worse is just around the corner. Which one are you?
It has been wisely stated that it is not what happens to you that counts – it is how you REACT to what happens. When you get knocked down by incidents in your life, do you get back up again? Or do you “stay down for the count?” Do you nurse your emotional and physical wounds by proclaiming loudly to anyone who will listen to your statements about how bad your life sucks? If you do, you may find few who will listen to your sad tale for long.
It is a very true statement that: “What you think about/emotionalize over multiplies exponentially.” Is that what you want?
The questions then arise, “How can I pick myself up and get on with my life? Do I just pretend nothing happened? How can I change my reaction to the bad stuff?”
Answers can come to you slowly or in a flash. Your answers are personal to you. Awareness is the beginning of change.
Perhaps a class will come to your attention about your particular problem, or maybe a sermon, friend, or magazine will catch your eye. You will have an “AHA!” moment and begin to focus on something else.
Beauty surrounds us in many forms. When I have had very sad times in my life, I found that, if I went outside into nature, I became more peaceful. Bird song and twitters, flowers, walking barefooted in the sand at the edge of the surf, a nice long bath, reading a good book, listening to the breeze rustle the leaves of the trees, etc., enabled me to pick myself up again. In short, just anything that makes you feel better is a key to changing you from feeling like a victim to helping you deal with whatever happened.
Life is not an unending story of happiness. It is just moments of joy that your attention can spread to fill your days. Bad stuff occurs in all of our lives. Again, how you choose to react to what happens will determine if you “let the bitter root grow” in your heart, contaminating every moment of your days OR if you decide to not dwell on it, deal with the repercussions/consequences if there are any, and see where you go from there.
In my own life, I have had tremendous sorrows, many of which I did not think I could endure, from death and injury of loved ones, feelings of separation and loneliness, losses in many forms, etc . I have had many physical challenges over the years which have required physical therapy, pain pills, and medicines. I have had to change my vocation, which I loved. I had to find a way to deal with the pain so that my personality, which is optimistic, would not darken into pessimism. It is a natural flow if one stays with the problem but does not seek a better answer. Luckily, I have found many answers that help me stay optimistic, some of which are listed above.
Each person is different, however. You need to find your own way of dealing with S — — T till you can turn it into fertilizer for new growth.
Are you willing?
God bless you on your journey!
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Memorial Day has been set aside for remembering our dearly departed. In the United States, we have Memorial Day Holiday, where we go to the graveside and leave decorations in memory of that person. I personally stop and say a prayer for that person. I also use “God Mail,” because God knows where that spirit is, telling that person what I want to share. I depend on God to deliver it, whether it is a beautiful sunset or just whatever I want to say. It comforts me greatly and has for many years. I also do this anytime I want to send a message. I know that person is not here in the shell we call a body, for the spirit has moved onward on its journey. That connection still exists, and I don’t feel separated any more. It aids me in the grieving process as well.
This Memorial can happen during the year as well, as demonstrated by the memorials placed beside the road for those who had an accident at that spot and did not survive.
Other cultures have many ways of doing this.
From the Wikipedia Encyclopedia: “Day of the Dead (Spanish: Día de Muertos) is a Mexican holiday celebrated throughout Mexico and around the world in other cultures. The holiday focuses on gatherings of family and friends to pray for and remember friends and family members who have died. It is particularly celebrated in Mexico where the day is a bank holiday. The celebration takes place on October 31, November 1 and November 2, in connection with the triduum of All Hallows’ Eve, Hallowmas itself, and All Souls’ Day. Traditions connected with the holiday include building private altars called ofrendas, honoring the deceased using sugar skulls, marigolds, and the favorite foods and beverages of the departed, and visiting graves with these as gifts. They also leave possessions of the deceased.
Scholars trace the origins of the modern Mexican holiday to indigenous observances dating back hundreds of years and to an Aztec festival dedicated to the goddess Mictecacihuatl. The holiday has spread throughout the world. In Brazil Dia de Finados is a public holiday that many Brazilians celebrate by visiting cemeteries and churches. In Spain there are festivals and parades and, at the end of the day, people gather at cemeteries and pray for their dead loved ones. Similar observances occur elsewhere in Europe, and similarly themed celebrations appear in many Asian and African cultures.”
In Mexico they have the Muerte, where the families go and picnic at the grave site, celebrating the memory of their loved ones. Others around the world do this as well, performing many acts of remembrance, including building a small house on a pole where they bow and honor them daily. Ancestral worship is an element of many religions.
One could even say that some try to communicate with the dead by a seance through a medium. Perhaps the living want to ask something or resolve an issue that never happened when that person was alive. Who is to say what is right or wrong?
Many cultures say that, once that person has moved on, one cannot say their name because it would disturb their journey, calling them back to this world.
In short, our beliefs are just that, our own reality expressing. At this time, take whatever action you deem appropriate, communicate in whatever way you want to, and be comforted.
I, for one, am on my way to the cemetery to put some decorated crosses on the graves. There, I will say my prayers.
How about you?
God’s blessings on your journey!
Because I have personally experienced the loss of so many loved ones, I wanted to express some thoughts that have comforted me along the way.
It has been said that: “Death is merely another journey, one we all must take.”
Kahlil Gibran in “The Prophet” states: “For life and death are one, even as the river and sea are one…For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered? Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.”
Mary Elizabeth Fry (11-13-1905 to 9-15-2004) wrote a poem:
Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep
“Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.”
It has been determined that, when a person dies, their weight decreases by one ounce immediately. Is this the weight of that person’s Spirit/Soul/Essence of Being? Interesting idea, to say the least.
Our Spirit is Us, undeniably. Apart from any religious beliefs, we are all the same. We, the living, forget that our Spirit is indestructible and is more than our bodies, which merely provide us with a place to live and learn while we are on this plane of existence.
John Denver sang about life as: “Just a gathering of memories and then we are gone.”
Hollywood does a good job of stating in pictures that the person who has made his/her transition is still here with us in our hearts as feelings and in our minds as memories.
Christians state: “To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.” Perhaps they say: “We know that person is now with Jesus and is not in pain anymore.”
Other religions state it differently, but it is the same idea: That person’s Spirit has moved on, leaving only the shell behind.
Testimonies of people who have clinically died and been brought back have one thing in common: They saw Beautiful Beings and White Light, which was so peaceful. That idea comforts me.
Sometimes death comes in a tragic, unexpected way. That leaves dear ones dismayed by the suddenness of it all. Sometimes it comes to one who has lingered terribly long, so that death is a release from the agony. Sometimes it comes calling when one least expects it.
Grief over the loss of a loved one can come in many forms: Anticipatory Grief when someone is lingering, Instant Grief when one leaves unexpectedly or a relationship ends. There are many books out there to aid the ones left behind.
Death is, indeed, a part of life. It is a journey we all must take at some time or another. The weird thing is that one does not contemplate one’s own demise. It is as if we will go on forever. When we are reminded of how fickle the Grim Reaper can be, reminding us of our mortality, we usually shrug it off and move on down the road.
My question is this: How can you truly live if you don’t accept the inescapable fact that death is inevitable, sometime?
It is not morbid to contemplate it. It ultimately gives one the freedom to really live! Be in the NOW!
We can comfort others in their sorrow, knowing that they feel deprived of the presence of their loved one. We can have compassion for them during their grieving process. The normal grieving period is two years. It is that period of time when you think of that person, and it stops you in your tracks. Perhaps the tears flow as you miss that one so very much. Even though times goes by, your memory of that person is as fresh as yesterday when you think of them.
Very few people who are going about their daily lives ever really think that: ‘Today is the day when I will cease to be on this planet.” When you kiss a loved one good-bye, you do not know that will be the last time you see him/her.
I always make sure to tell the people in my life that I love them. When my husband and I part, there is always a kiss and a goodbye said. I am comforted that, come what may, I left on a happy note as would he.
Can you say the same about your loved ones? Or are you still fussing over the burned toast or a hasty word spoken in anger? You never have the assurance that will be the last thing spoken or done. Always be aware of it.
Life is a funny thing – it goes to the living. My question is: Are you living? Or are you just existing? Are you doing that which is best for you and your loved ones? It is always your choice in action.
No one who was caught in the 911 catastrophe knew that would be their last moments on earth, or even in plane, car, or train crashes. One woman became so afraid of flying that she took the train, which derailed. The only person who died was her.
Fear of death is an awesome thing and takes a terrible toll. Fear paralyzes one’s abilities such that inaction becomes the order of the day. Sad to say, but when Fear rules, that person loses so much life force and ability to function, which can never be recovered.
“Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” -Mark Twain
If “Life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one,” how can you go on ignoring the reality of it all?
Your choice is all you have to enable you to be 100 percent functional. Are you willing to use it wisely?
God’s blessings on your journey!
There is a Divine Polarity to all of life. Magnets have positive and negative poles. Most of our learning comes to us in that manner. We find out what we do not want after we get it, and thereby learn what we really do want and need. Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it?
Some examples are:
Joy vs. Sadness
Truth vs. Lies
Peace vs. Chaos
Beauty vs. Ugliness
Life vs. Death
Love vs. Hate
Light vs. Darkness
Laughter vs. Tears
Good vs. Bad
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone, and, after it is over, said to yourself, “Well, I’ll never do that again! I will change my choices. I will ask more questions. I will be able to see that quality in someone else before I get involved.” Yet, sometimes history repeats itself?
We learn by bumps in the road, apparently, as a species.
I love the Pushmi-Pullyu in the Doctor Dolittle series. I have found that life is not all one thing or all another. It is usually a mixture of both polarities. The questions is: Can you separate them out clearly enough to be able to change your choices?
Add in the idea that rarely is anything simple. Usually, it is some of each. Whether it be a job, relationships, raising children, or any other topic that comes to mind. I personally know people who stay in a bad relationship because they have become vested in it–stuff rules as do habits. So they stay in the same old toxic atmosphere year in and year out. You can say the same for a job. Vesting dictates because one cannot afford a lower wage or whatever it takes to make a change. Raising children has its joys and its heart aches because these are little beings with an idea of how they want life to be and seek it out at their level, which may not be the wisest course. In short, simplicity is difficult, if not impossible, to find. That does not mean that one should not seek it. It only means that it is a gem of great price and should be sought after with due diligence.
There are positive aspects of all the above. Having been in a bad marriage or relationship, one can then seek more wisely to find a mate who is more compatible. If one is unhappy with the workaday life they have created, for whatever reason, one can seek that which will make them happier. Some Wall Street workers quit that life style and go to the country, finding a different way to live. Some go to college so they can change their resumes. In short, one can seek that which will give him/her a more positive balance in living.
Life is not like walking a tight rope without a safety net. Mankind can learn, grow, and change at will. Fear keeps us from doing that. It has been said that Fear of the Unknown is the greatest reason for not seeking a better answer. What one knows is better than looking for a challenge. The sameness of daily living is secure, no matter what the Happiness Quotient is.
I have been fortunate because I have accepted the challenges and sought Change and Balance in Living. I know what I want my life to look like. I have had to learn Forgiveness of myself and others in my journey. I have never thought that I would rather live alone than try to find that certain someone who will be my Best Friend for the rest of my life, someone I could grow old with, and someone who will be on the other end of this relationship. After all, relationships are TWO-WAY STREETS, not one-way. If one person is giving all the time while the other is taking all the time, no Happiness Quotient can be found. I have said that relationships are like a waltz, and I would rather dance through life with my partner than have somebody who is out of synch and not on the same page. I have been most fortunate to find my Best Friend. I would wish the same for you.
I started this article with many positive qualities which I consider necessary for my life. I endeavor to achieve my balance with them in some way, every day. I look for them. I accentuate their presence in my life. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, which are also present daily, I look for some way to lighten the day with laughter and the other ideas.
How about you? Are you willing to look at your Happiness Quotient and seek new ways to find Balance in Living? You will find that it is worth the time and effort to think about, seek, and find. Even if your life is good, it can always be better. Are you interested?
May your journey be blessed in every way. 🙂
Posted in Uplifting Thoughts
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