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Balanced Living

There is a Divine Polarity to all of life. Magnets have positive and negative poles. Most of our learning comes to us in that manner. We find out what we do not want after we get it, and thereby learn what we really do want and need. Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it?

Some examples are:

Joy vs. Sadness

Truth vs. Lies

Peace vs. Chaos

Beauty vs. Ugliness

Life vs. Death

Love vs. Hate

Light vs. Darkness

Laughter vs. Tears

Good vs. Bad

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone, and, after it is over, said to yourself, “Well, I’ll never do that again! I will change my choices. I will ask more questions. I will be able to see that quality in someone else before I get involved.” Yet, sometimes history repeats itself?

We learn by bumps in the road, apparently, as a species.

I love the Pushmi-Pullyu in the Doctor Dolittle series. I have found that life is not all one thing or all another. It is usually a mixture of both polarities. The questions is: Can you separate them out clearly enough to be able to change your choices?

Add in the idea that rarely is anything simple. Usually, it is some of each. Whether it be a job, relationships, raising children, or any other topic that comes to mind. I personally know people who stay in a bad relationship because they have become vested in it–stuff rules as do habits. So they stay in the same old toxic atmosphere year in and year out. You can say the same for a job. Vesting dictates because one cannot afford a lower wage or whatever it takes to make a change. Raising children has its joys and its heart aches because these are little beings with an idea of how they want life to be and seek it out at their level, which may not be the wisest course. In short, simplicity is difficult, if not impossible, to find. That does not mean that one should not seek it. It only means that it is a gem of great price and should be sought after with due diligence.

There are positive aspects of all the above. Having been in a bad marriage or relationship, one can then seek more wisely to find a mate who is more compatible. If one is unhappy with the workaday life they have created, for whatever reason, one can seek that which will make them happier. Some Wall Street workers quit that life style and go to the country, finding a different way to live. Some go to college so they can change their resumes. In short, one can seek that which will give him/her a more positive balance in living.

Life is not like walking a tight rope without a safety net. Mankind can learn, grow, and change at will. Fear keeps us from doing that. It has been said that Fear of the Unknown is the greatest reason for not seeking a better answer. What one knows is better than looking for a challenge. The sameness of daily living is secure, no matter what the Happiness Quotient is.

I have been fortunate because I have accepted the challenges and sought Change and Balance in Living. I know what I want my life to look like. I have had to learn Forgiveness of myself and others in my journey. I have never thought that I would rather live alone than try to find that certain someone who will be my  Best Friend for the rest of my life, someone I could grow old with, and someone who will be on the other end of this relationship. After all, relationships are TWO-WAY STREETS, not one-way. If one person is giving all the time while the other is taking all the time, no Happiness Quotient can be found.  I have said that relationships are like a waltz, and I would rather dance through life with my partner than have somebody who is out of synch and not on the same page. I have been most fortunate to find my Best Friend. I would wish the same for you.

I started this article with many positive qualities which I consider necessary for my life. I endeavor to achieve my balance with them in some way, every day. I look for them. I accentuate their presence in my life. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, which are also present daily, I look for some way to lighten the day with laughter and the other ideas.

How about you? Are you willing to look at your Happiness Quotient and seek new ways to find Balance in Living? You will find that it is worth the time and effort to think about, seek, and find. Even if your life is good, it can always be better. Are you interested?

May your journey be blessed in every way. 🙂

 

Happiness

The definition for Happy is:  “Favored by circumstances; lucky; fortunate; having, showing, or causing a feeling of great pleasure, contentment, joy, etc.; joyous; glad; pleased.” By the way, Happiness is a noun, while Happy is an adjective. That means the latter is active while the former is static…that means a lot.

Happiness is many things to many people. It is a state of mind. Some people equate it to ecstasy, or a state of euphoria. I would suggest to you that it is much more than that. It is more than a feeling, however fleeting that can be.  Some believe that circumstances outside of you can bring you Happiness, unknowing that Happiness is an inside job. Perhaps you may want a soul mate so you can live “happily ever after,” yet that particular one has not appeared because all of the candidates are flawed. Some have become disillusioned with the idea, believing it to be an impossibility. So they just stop looking or trying. Some keep looking even though they are not exactly sure what it is they are seeking. Some reach a sense of desperation because they want to begin a family, feeling like the clock is ticking against them. They actually have the option now of freezing their eggs or sperm, just in case they finally find that certain someone. That keeps their options open so they can have a healthy baby.

Some think that stuff can be the essence of their existence. Just go out and buy whatever you think will finally make you Happy. Yet that newness wears off, so you go buy something else. It is a wonderful thing to enjoy your possessions and all the good that God has brought to you…whether it is a beautiful necklace or a fancy car. Just remember that there is more to life. Besides, if material possessions brought Happiness, why are there not more of us deliriously Happy? Some people seek money and fame beyond all else, yet when they find it, they still must feel empty because of involvement with drugs, alcohol, and other addictions, some of which are fatal. It appears to be conundrum to me. (Definition of Conundrum is any puzzling question or problem.)

Some seek security and base all their decisions on that one idea. Yet security in itself is usually a moving target, especially in this economy and changing circumstances for so many people.  Some people even think that getting married will provide you with it. When they find out that it does not, they opt for divorce in lieu of being together and learning from each other. Tough decisions all.

There is a tale about a king who wanted to be happy, so he sent out a decree that he wanted to find the happiest man in his kingdom. He thought that, if he could find this person, he could wear this man’s shirt and be happy too. However, when he found the happiest man, it turned out that he did not even own a shirt. There is an idea to ponder.

Think for a minute: If Happiness is an inside job, how can anything outside of you actually truly create it? If you had a Happy plant growing inside of you, it would need nourishment in many forms: water, vitamins, sunshine, you name it. Yet we neglect to do any of that because we are waiting for some magic from outside of ourselves to help it to grow. While we wait, the plant withers and possibly dies.

I would suggest to you that Happiness has some basic qualities that help one to realize it:

H          Healthy

A           Admiration

          Politeness/Respect

P           Peace

I            Intimacy

N          Neatness/Orderliness

E          Ecstasy

S          Stillness

S          Serenity

All of these are interconnected with a sense of well-being. If one considers each word and then looks for something in their life that could be identified with it, perhaps just realizing it will raise your Happiness Quotient. If we remember that what we focus us on grows in our life, just changing how you approach the circumstances in your life could make it better.

Life was meant to be lived. Isn’t it about time that you felt you were, indeed, more alive?

If you are serious about being a happier person, suggest you sit down with a blank sheet of paper. Draw a line down the middle. Now write the words, “Am I Happy” and add a punctuation mark. It can be a “?,” a “!” or even a period. The punctuation mark will tell it all. Once you do that, on one side of the column on the paper, write down what makes you feel happy. On the other column, write down what makes you feel sad, lonely, lost, or unhappy. You might be amazed at what these answers will show you. Just writing things down helps you to take a look at your perspective and perhaps change it if you want. We get stuck like a hamster in a cage, doing the same things every day for the same reasons. Sometimes, it helps to get out of that cage of humdrum existence. Writing things down can add clarification and help you formulate a new beginning for you, starting now.

Are you brave enough and willing  to try it?

 

 

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