Love is defined as: “a deep and tender feeling of affection for or attachment or devotion to a person or persons; an expression of one’s love or affection; a feeling of brotherhood and good will toward other people; a strong, usually passionate, affection of one person for another, based in part on sexual attraction; the person who is the object of such an affection; sweetheart; lover; sexual passion; sexual intercourse.”
Valentine’s Day is set apart as a celebration of Love. Couples use it as an opportunity to give gifts of chocolate, flowers, or jewelry, especially for the lady. Today, my husband and I exchanged cards expressing our devotion. But the acts of love we give each other are a daily occurrence, large and small, year in and year out. Sometimes it is just listening to each other, exchanging a foot massage, or just enjoying each others’ presence while we walk in the park or watching a movie. We do not need to buy expensive gifts to show how much we love each other. Of course, we are older and more mature than young people are. We know what we cherish, which is time together and the attitude of being each other’s best friend. We not only honor, but we respect, each other. This removes many evils from our path.
As you look at the definition above, you need to decide for yourself which one applies to you. Love is more than sexual passion, attraction, and touching intimately. If one truly Loves another, one cares about that person, along with his/her needs/wants/desires. We are divinely made so we can help one another to grow and become the person we are meant to be. We are not meant to inhibit, control, or exhibit power over anyone if we actually are expressing Love. We are not to do harm in any way. This would include hateful, mean words which achieve nothing in the long run, but they do cause hurt feelings which sometimes cannot be eradicated. Gentle words are vital to a good relationship, while screaming and yelling exacerbate any situation.
Do you think about what you are going to say before you open your mouth? It is a good policy and serves diplomacy well. Do you ask questions, which require an answer, versus making statements which you must then defend and qualify. If you are talking to someone you truly care about, you might want to remember this. It can make a big difference in any relationship, be it a loved one, coworker, or anyone else.
If Love is just an Emotion or a Feeling, it may seemingly express itself in an ebb and flow, like the tides. Can you really have Love for a wayward teenager who is bent on achieving some idea that makes you crazy? Yup! That is when you use your Love to guide that person the best you can. It may or may not work. In the end, you do the best you can. Someday, that teenager will have children and only then will understand how hard you tried to do the best you could. I used a teenager as an example, but it could be anyone with whom you have a relationship. Sometimes you might feel the ebb and flow with your mate. It is not a sign that love has died, necessarily. It only says something about the nature of emotions and feelings, which are not constant.
When one first “falls in love,” that person usually can do no wrong. You see “through the eyes of love.” Then somewhere along the way, little habits begin to irritate you. You either resolve them, or they continue to expand — like a snowball going downhill. Eventually, it becomes too big to stop. Bickering begins, and those turn into fights. The next thing you know, you two are separating and going your own way. Sometimes you are happy about it, and sometimes you are not. If you are caught in this spiral, you must ask yourself about why you got together in the first place. Are any of those reasons still valid? If they are, you need to find a way to fix it, if you can. If not, you need a different game plan when you enter a relationship with someone new.
A revolutionary idea: Is it possible to live in Love as a State of Being?
When you open your eyes in the morning, what is your first thought? Your second one? Are you glad to be alive? Are you grateful for something? Are you expressing friendliness to people in your world? When you take a deep breath, do you feel a sweet release of tension and stress?
The element of Livingness is expressing Love as a State of Being, coming from within, and going outwards to anyone who contacts us during a day. It does not matter if it is five minutes with a salesclerk, giving a smile and a thank you for the service rendered, or if it is towards someone you truly love — be it your mate, mother, family, friend, or anyone else of importance to you.
Love is a State of Mind First, Last, and Always.
If you Love Life, you stop and smell the flowers along the way, appreciate the colors that surround you, the beautiful butterflies that flutter by, and birds that sing their song. You are living in the moment, not worrying about tomorrow or yesterday. LIVE IN THE NOW. You must have heard this many times in so many different ways. By doing this, you are more able to stay in tune with your thoughts and emotions.
If you dance, are you listening to the music you are hearing RIGHT NOW? That beat, that movement is all timed to the music. It is not the song that was playing yesterday or last year. Nor is it the song that will be played next year. It is Today’s Song. By staying in the moment, you will be moving to the music of Life Within You, more able to better respond to Life’s situations, be they positive or negative.
If you look at your current situation , you need to look at where you are versus where you would like to be. It is that simple and that hard. You are the captain of your ship. You alone must decide where and how to sail it. Are you willing to make changes so that you can achieve a new beginning? It is all up to you, after all. What do you choose?
God’s blessings upon your journey.
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Tags: alive, answer, birds, butterflies, colors, diplomacy, emotions, feelings, flowers, friendliness, God, grateful, guide, journey, life, Life within you, Live in the Now, livingness, Love, Love Life, metaphysics, music, New Age, New thought, questions, relationship, sexual attraction, song, thoughts, time, Truth, understanding, Valentine's Day, willing, wisdom
Matthew 7:24-27 states: “Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.”
This Biblical story is now thousands of years old, yet it can guide us in our lives today because it is a story about CHOICES and VALUES. Think about it. What did you have for breakfast today? When did you get up? Why did you get out of bed? What are your plans for the day? Are you going to be a couch potato, or is it time for a family outing? Do you want a beer or a cup of coffee?
LIFE HAPPENS A MOMENT AT A TIME. THE CHOICES YOU MAKE, BASED ON YOUR VALUES, WILL MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE IN YOUR LIFE, EACH AND EVERY DAY!
The sayings are, of course, WORDS, and the rock is your BELIEF SYSTEM. It is more than what Jesus taught. It is, in fact, how you live your daily life. Your BELIEF SYSTEM is more than going to church every Sunday or whenever the Church door opens. It is more than what your pastor, preacher, Rabbi, priest, or Holy Man says. IT IS WHAT YOU DO WITH WHAT THEY SAY THAT MATTERS.
Are you doing ARK’s (Acts of Random Kindness)? Are you acting in a caring manner with your coworkers, family, friends, acquaintances, and the local confused sales clerk? Or are you spewing forth unthinking words just because the milk got spilled all over, a mate does something you do not like, a clumsy child breaks something, or a sales clerk rings something up incorrectly? The point is: WHAT YOU SAY AND DO EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY MATTERS BECAUSE IT IS YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM IN MOTION — IT IS BRINGING YOUR VALUES INTO REALITY.
John 1:1 states, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
This is more than a casual verse. It brings the importance to light of: WHAT WORDS YOU SPEAK ARE VITAL TO WHICH HOUSE YOU CHOOSE TO BUILD! Your actions will follow your words and thoughts!
If you think that words and actions do not matter, you are literally “BUILDING YOUR HOUSE UPON THE SAND!” Do you feel like you are on a treadmill, going nowhere fast? Every day is like all the others. Money goes out faster than it comes in. There is always more month left and no money to live on. CHAOS RULES! IT PROPAGATES ITSELF SO FAST THAT YOU CANNOT FIND THE OFF BUTTON! Confusion is the order of every day. Priorities change constantly. Perhaps you have great intentions in the morning, but by the evening you just collapse on the couch and turn the TV on, glad the day is over.
SYNERGY OCCURS AT ALL LEVELS. WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT, YOU BRING ABOUT! Do you ever ask yourself, “How is it I am thinking? Are my emotions running away with me? Is my anger a realistic reaction to the circumstances, or is it not commensurate with the situation?” Questions like these could begin to turn the tide of every day for the rest of your life. You see, questions indicate a change is possible – then the answers will come to you, teaching you what you need to do differently. The answers will come in many forms: Books, classes, workshops, preachers, teachers, etc. Your Spirit will recognize your answer because you asked the question in the first place. I actually write down my questions and then the answers when they come, dating them for fun. I have enjoyed watching the changes unfold. Are you willing to try it?
The house Jesus was talking about is your Spirit, which is inside of you. The sayings He was talking about is all the good, positive stuff which can help you make changes and have a better life. If you choose to follow the negative thoughts and emotions, your SYNERGY is stifled, no real changes in your life can be experienced, and CHAOS RULES THE DAY! SYNERGY THEN MULTIPLIES THE BAD STUFF! Is that what you want…more of the same yuck?
It is your choice: WHICH HOUSE WILL YOU CHOOSE: BUILD IT ON ROCK OR ON SAND? Your words and actions are the expression of your POWER OF CHOICE IN MOTION. The power to make changes in your life is held solely in your own hands…nobody else can do it for you.
Kahlil Gibran stated: “If your garden is to be lit, it is you who must do it.”
God’s blessing on your journey!
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Tags: answers, ARK, Belief System, blessings, change, chaos, choices, garden, God, good, Jesus, John 1:1, journey, Kahlil Gibran, life, Matthew 7: 24-27, metaphysics, negative, New Age, New thought, positive, questions, sayings, Spirit, Synergy, think, Truth, Values, willing, wisdom, words
There is a Divine Polarity to all of life. Magnets have positive and negative poles. Most of our learning comes to us in that manner. We find out what we do not want after we get it, and thereby learn what we really do want and need. Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it?
Some examples are:
Joy vs. Sadness
Truth vs. Lies
Peace vs. Chaos
Beauty vs. Ugliness
Life vs. Death
Love vs. Hate
Light vs. Darkness
Laughter vs. Tears
Good vs. Bad
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone, and, after it is over, said to yourself, “Well, I’ll never do that again! I will change my choices. I will ask more questions. I will be able to see that quality in someone else before I get involved.” Yet, sometimes history repeats itself?
We learn by bumps in the road, apparently, as a species.
I love the Pushmi-Pullyu in the Doctor Dolittle series. I have found that life is not all one thing or all another. It is usually a mixture of both polarities. The questions is: Can you separate them out clearly enough to be able to change your choices?
Add in the idea that rarely is anything simple. Usually, it is some of each. Whether it be a job, relationships, raising children, or any other topic that comes to mind. I personally know people who stay in a bad relationship because they have become vested in it–stuff rules as do habits. So they stay in the same old toxic atmosphere year in and year out. You can say the same for a job. Vesting dictates because one cannot afford a lower wage or whatever it takes to make a change. Raising children has its joys and its heart aches because these are little beings with an idea of how they want life to be and seek it out at their level, which may not be the wisest course. In short, simplicity is difficult, if not impossible, to find. That does not mean that one should not seek it. It only means that it is a gem of great price and should be sought after with due diligence.
There are positive aspects of all the above. Having been in a bad marriage or relationship, one can then seek more wisely to find a mate who is more compatible. If one is unhappy with the workaday life they have created, for whatever reason, one can seek that which will make them happier. Some Wall Street workers quit that life style and go to the country, finding a different way to live. Some go to college so they can change their resumes. In short, one can seek that which will give him/her a more positive balance in living.
Life is not like walking a tight rope without a safety net. Mankind can learn, grow, and change at will. Fear keeps us from doing that. It has been said that Fear of the Unknown is the greatest reason for not seeking a better answer. What one knows is better than looking for a challenge. The sameness of daily living is secure, no matter what the Happiness Quotient is.
I have been fortunate because I have accepted the challenges and sought Change and Balance in Living. I know what I want my life to look like. I have had to learn Forgiveness of myself and others in my journey. I have never thought that I would rather live alone than try to find that certain someone who will be my Best Friend for the rest of my life, someone I could grow old with, and someone who will be on the other end of this relationship. After all, relationships are TWO-WAY STREETS, not one-way. If one person is giving all the time while the other is taking all the time, no Happiness Quotient can be found. I have said that relationships are like a waltz, and I would rather dance through life with my partner than have somebody who is out of synch and not on the same page. I have been most fortunate to find my Best Friend. I would wish the same for you.
I started this article with many positive qualities which I consider necessary for my life. I endeavor to achieve my balance with them in some way, every day. I look for them. I accentuate their presence in my life. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, which are also present daily, I look for some way to lighten the day with laughter and the other ideas.
How about you? Are you willing to look at your Happiness Quotient and seek new ways to find Balance in Living? You will find that it is worth the time and effort to think about, seek, and find. Even if your life is good, it can always be better. Are you interested?
May your journey be blessed in every way. 🙂
Posted in Uplifting Thoughts
Tags: bad, Balance in Living, Beauty, Best Friend, change, chaos, children, choices, dance, darkness, death, find, good, Happiness Quotient, hate, job, journey, joy, laughter, life, light, Love, marriage, metaphysics, negative, New Age, New thought, partner, Peace, polarities, positive, questions, relationships, sadness, seek, simplicity, tears, think about, thoughts, Truth, understanding, vesting, waltz, wisdom