Your life reflects your words, thoughts, and emotions/feelings. What are you dwelling on, thinking about, speaking, feeling?
“How can this be?” you may ask yourself. “Surely this is a joke!” Sad to say, it is not.
So look around you. Stop for a moment and concentrate on your life as it exists at this moment. What do you see? How do you feel? Is it beautiful or ugly? Are you peaceful or being torn apart by your inner lions? Anger, fear, hatred, and all separating emotions fall into this category. How do you tame them? Do you even want to? Are you so certain that your reactions to outside stimuli command these lions to come forth (so you cannot help or stop them)? Is it worth the price you pay? Are you so righteous that it justifies them?
When you close your eyes at night, what do you see, think about, and remember? Savoring that moment when you discovered something so beautiful that it made you stop in your tracks? Beautiful flowers, sunsets, some kindness that was given to you, a hug, a smile, a kiss perhaps? Life can be magical even in these trying times where so many are suffering from unimaginable tragedies. The question becomes:
What are you dwelling on? Is it one of life’s injustices common in these days? Or would you rather think, speak, and feel about ARK: Acts of Random Kindness that you did for others which were returned to you?
The lions inside of every one of us really do become the kings of our inner beings, dictating our life, reactions, and thoughts toward whatever is wrong with our own personal world. The good things disappear in the mist of our mind. When one looks around and finds hopelessness, fatigue, and sadness, you can rest assured that the restless lions are at work in your particular world.
In order to tame those lions, many suggest that deep breathing in the middle of the daily battle (if battle it be) and meditating on uplifting thoughts can give you moments of the peace you seek.
Bad things happen to all of us on this third rock from the sun. No matter how good or how bad a person we are, what we sow, we reap. In some cases, a few plant bad seeds of discontent, etc. There is enough of a mirage surrounding these few that they seem believable in the extreme, and like the pied piper calling the lemmings to the sea, they are followed willingly, much to our sadness and regret.
But you can decide if you want the lions inside of you to reign supreme or seek a new way to think, speak, and feel. That mirror will bring the wonder of life magically back to your eyes and heart. Are you willing to use that mirror to seek the changes you need so you can experience peacefulness once more? It is, after all, up to you.
God’s blessings on your journey!
Posted in Uplifting Thoughts
Tags: anger, ARK - Acts of Random Kindness, bad, beautiful, blessings, deep breathing, emotions, fatigue, fear, feelings, God, hatred, hopelessness, inner lions, journey, kindness, life, magical, meditating, metaphysics, mirror, New Age, New thought, Peace, peaceful, reactions, sadness, seek a new way, speaking, thoughts, Truth, ugly, understanding, what we sow - we reap, wisdom, words
Fear does indeed immobilize one because it enables thought patterns that are based on the worst possible outcome. This, in turn, creates emotions that ensure vulnerability and helplessness. Overwhelmed by all of the above, inaction itself generates a decision from indecision!
Sound crazy? Of course, it is! Does it happen? All the time! Why? Because fear is so strong a negative emotion that it just takes over, mind and body. All one can focus on is the object/idea feared. No other outcome is thought about. Peace is an impossible dream.
Somewhere in the Fear spectrum, Anger enters like a charging elephant! Unstoppable? You bet! This causes one to perform poorly and respond negatively and overactively to outside stimuli.
As long as one’s attention is focused on the “bad stuff” of life, which happens daily in most people’s experiences, the “good stuff” is kept locked up and cannot hold sway in your thoughts and emotions.
Focus is the key here. It’s like holding a magnifying glass to look at something. The more it magnifies, the bigger it seems. Reality has not changed, but your perspective has greatly altered.
In order to get off the merry-go-round of this thought/emotion process, one must firmly grab the reins on this runaway horse and firmly take control. One must choose to “get a grip” and change the arena by looking at other possible outcomes, thinking/feeling other alternatives. Only then can your reality change by loosening the hold fear has on you, permitting to you to be more functional in your life and reactions to others. Anger is not generated so one can think better before acting.
The exclusivity of Fear is this example: I was driving a good friend of mine home about sunset. It was the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen, vivid, so many colors! I brought this to the attention of my friend (who was caught up in a negative sequence involving Fear and Anger). She absolutely could not see the beauty of it. She brushed it aside and continued with her diatribe. Nothing in her situation changed because she was “feeding the monster!” The situation became unalterably worse. How else could it be?
If one wants peace to fill your mind and life, your focus has to change. Ernest Holmes said: “What you think about, you bring about.” I would add that thoughts create feelings, which are the engine of the mind. Both create your reality, like it or not. Focus is part of the idea behind Dr Wayne Dyer’s: “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.”
Do you want to continue down a negative path in your life, or do you prefer peace, adaptation, mobility, and different choices to govern you? It is, after all, your choice. Are you willing to experience something else?
God’s blessings on your journey!
F is for Forever
E is for Evading
A is for Another
R is for Reality
Forever Evading Another Reality
Does this acronym speak to you? It explained a lot to me in my life and in how others experience FEAR.
The worst part of FEAR is that it is immobilizing, whether it is real (Is that a bear up ahead?) or an illusion (all the “What if’s” you can think about).
Fear always has a companion, WORRY. These two serve to make one’s imagination run wild. The more you concentrate on what you do not want to happen, the more these two become a driving force in your decisions.
Question: Why would one consciously put so much effort into something you do NOT want to happen when you could use that same energy to be constructive, formulating a better outcome?
Do you feel “stuck” in a situation that is harmful to you, your personal growth, your life? Is it because of FEAR and WORRY? These two are thieves that steal your potential good from you.
ANSWER: Only you can take action to make a better choice. You have to look at your daily life and see what you need to change.
FEAR and WORRY create a vortex which leads to nowhere. Are you willing to keep it going? How does it serve you?
If it does not help you to create a new synergy with a better goal, you are simply marking time.
Time is the one thing you cannot buy back. No amount of effort will bring you more of it. Life is so very short. Each moment needs to be spent wisely and well in lieu of languishing in a “Woe is me!”
Your history is just that: History, as in gone, as in cannot be changed. Each second becomes history, quickly.
Are you willing to keep spinning your wheels, or do you want more? If you do, now is the time to begin it.
The Chinese have a saying, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”
Are you willing to look for a step towards a new beginning? Exit the quagmire of quicksand and begin anew. You have the power. Use it.
God’s blessings upon your journey. Remember that destinations are good to aim for, but enjoy each moment of your NOW.
Imagination is a wonderful characteristic to have. Like most things, it has its good and bad sides. The good sides can be seen everywhere: Creating a beautiful garden or landscape; writing a book; painting a picture; decorating a cake or a room; dancing; etc. The bad sides are not so obvious: Being afraid of monsters under the bed or in the closet; Phobias about anything from spiders to heights; fear of something in the future or consequences of what is past; etc. In fact, it is easy to see the negative side in others, but it is not so easy to spot it in yourself.
Imagination can be extremely helpful in Visioning a better outcome or future because you are dwelling on the positive side of it all. In a way, you are creating a mold of what you would like to have or see happen. The Power of Attraction then creates synergy to bring it forth.
One example of the bad side is a person who is a shut in with many ailments and pains, the Imagination works upside down, enhancing how awful your reality is. Your awareness of anything outside of your area is automatically eliminated. News from the outside world is not important. If anything, one probably picks up on the negative news. Things begin a downward spiral, like a snowball going downhill. The synergy brought forth is not anything desirable.
Other examples are workers who are on a treadmill of life, barely able to feel in control of their choices because of the demands on their time: Travel time to and from work, young children, perhaps parents who are in need of care taking. In short, the idea of making time for exercise, walking, reading, or taking a long bath and just relaxing are just a dream. Yet they are essential to personal health and well-being.
The question becomes: What do you want to occur? What do you choose to dwell on?
It is this choice that becomes the difference. If one continues to dwell on the negative, the snowball continues on its way. If a glimmer of a positive can be introduced into the imagination, the snowball can be stopped and a new synergy begins.
However, most people are not proactive about making changes in their reality.
If they experience fear, it immobilizes and restricts, making it impossible or extremely difficult to deal with. That immobilization/restriction causes consequences that multiply exponentially with time. They longer one waits to decide on a plan of action, the more severe the situation becomes.
Fear begets fear.
“Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself”: FDR’s First Inaugural Address.
The message here is that hesitation has a price you may not want to pay. It may not be today or tomorrow, but it is inevitable if you do nothing.
So how about you? Do you want to use your imagination in a constructive way? Are you so caught up in the daily humdrum of your existence that you do not think about a different possibility? It is your choice, and not making a choice becomes exactly that, a choice. What is your decision?
God bless you on your journey!
S — — T Happens! Good Happens. These sayings are both true. We see them on car bumpers and on walls. Have you given them any thought at all? Do you just react to the bad stuff, without analyzing it? When good things happen to you, are you joy-filled? Sometimes, we are reluctant to enjoy that moment because we fear that something worse is just around the corner. Which one are you?
It has been wisely stated that it is not what happens to you that counts – it is how you REACT to what happens. When you get knocked down by incidents in your life, do you get back up again? Or do you “stay down for the count?” Do you nurse your emotional and physical wounds by proclaiming loudly to anyone who will listen to your statements about how bad your life sucks? If you do, you may find few who will listen to your sad tale for long.
It is a very true statement that: “What you think about/emotionalize over multiplies exponentially.” Is that what you want?
The questions then arise, “How can I pick myself up and get on with my life? Do I just pretend nothing happened? How can I change my reaction to the bad stuff?”
Answers can come to you slowly or in a flash. Your answers are personal to you. Awareness is the beginning of change.
Perhaps a class will come to your attention about your particular problem, or maybe a sermon, friend, or magazine will catch your eye. You will have an “AHA!” moment and begin to focus on something else.
Beauty surrounds us in many forms. When I have had very sad times in my life, I found that, if I went outside into nature, I became more peaceful. Bird song and twitters, flowers, walking barefooted in the sand at the edge of the surf, a nice long bath, reading a good book, listening to the breeze rustle the leaves of the trees, etc., enabled me to pick myself up again. In short, just anything that makes you feel better is a key to changing you from feeling like a victim to helping you deal with whatever happened.
Life is not an unending story of happiness. It is just moments of joy that your attention can spread to fill your days. Bad stuff occurs in all of our lives. Again, how you choose to react to what happens will determine if you “let the bitter root grow” in your heart, contaminating every moment of your days OR if you decide to not dwell on it, deal with the repercussions/consequences if there are any, and see where you go from there.
In my own life, I have had tremendous sorrows, many of which I did not think I could endure, from death and injury of loved ones, feelings of separation and loneliness, losses in many forms, etc . I have had many physical challenges over the years which have required physical therapy, pain pills, and medicines. I have had to change my vocation, which I loved. I had to find a way to deal with the pain so that my personality, which is optimistic, would not darken into pessimism. It is a natural flow if one stays with the problem but does not seek a better answer. Luckily, I have found many answers that help me stay optimistic, some of which are listed above.
Each person is different, however. You need to find your own way of dealing with S — — T till you can turn it into fertilizer for new growth.
Are you willing?
God bless you on your journey!
Tags: answer, bad, Beauty, blessings, choices, death, emotions turbulent, fear, fertilizer, God, good, growth, Happiness, injury, journey, joy, life, loneliness, metaphysics, nature, negative, New Age, New thought, Optimism, pain, Peace, Pessimism, physical, positive, react, sorrows, Truth, understanding, willing
There is a tale about three blind men who are holding onto different parts of an elephant. One is holding a leg, saying: “This elephant is like the trunk of a tree.” Another is holding onto the tail, stating: “This elephant is like a snake.” Another is holding onto the trunk, who says: “No, it is like a really thick rope.” Thinking about it, they are all correct in their descriptions. But does it really describe an elephant? Nope.
You see, when one is looking at a situation, probably negative, one only sees it from a personal take on the facts. Other people could see it far differently.
We get so addicted to our own point of view, however, that we think that is all there is. In fact, we do not look outside of our own perceptions to answer a question, respond to a situation (either positive or negative), formulate a plan of action, or even decide to withdraw from the world at large, experiencing depression, angst, or fear.
If one were to suggest that there are other alternatives, most of us do not listen unless it already supports our point of view. The rest just falls away.
If one knows someone who has had such pain in his/her life/heart that withdrawal has become the only answer, how do you show your compassion to that person? As she/he clings madly to the problem, do you get angry? Do you yell at him/her, trying to get through the wall that was placed there on purpose for defense/protection? If you can make no sense of the situation, which keeps deteriorating like a sinking ship, what are you to do if you care about that person? Stand by and watch it go down? That is painful, indeed, to watch.
Try to not forget that personal choice rules here. You cannot save someone who does not really want to be saved. Complaints and suffering aside, the one who is sinking may not want to go quietly, but positive action, no matter how small or doable, is not considered an option by that person because it has already been discarded.
You can always care very much. You can pray. You can try to structure another possibility if you remember the point of reference that person is using. Remember the elephant? Which part does he/she have hold of?
This process is also true in an argument. People tend to defend their own ideas, no matter how strange, and keep holding on to their own version of the elephant, be it leg, tail, or trunk. It is hard to discuss your idea/resolution if you cannot see what idea they are attached to. You have to enter their thought processes, use active listening techniques, recognizing the anger (which is a tool to make the anger dissipate), and keep feeding back to that person what you are hearing. One cannot argue reasonably with an angry person. The anger must first be drawn off in order to have any reasoning heard. Most anger is caused because that person feels like he/she is not being heard, which is why active listening techniques work so well.
How about you? Have you looked at your world lately? Do you have things that make you feel very uncomfortable? Is there an “unreasonable” person — be it a boss, supervisor, coworker, teenager, child — in your life that is “making you crazy?” Join the rest of the world as there will always be someone to “drive you up a wall!” The question is, what part of the elephant are you holding on to? Try to remember that you can decide to go crazy or not as that truly is a decision within your personal power to control. You can even opt out of it entirely by using silence — one of the most ignored, and most successful, tools in the world. It will stop the acceleration.
Sometimes, especially with children, we have to be the needed guide to the “little person,” who thinks whatever action we require is unwelcome and unwanted. If we renege on our duty/responsibility as parents or teachers, the world will be a sadder place for it. That child will grow up without the tools to live his/her life and make better choices. There are so many children we see in stores these days who absolutely are not taught the word “NO means NO!” How many tantrums have you seen lately? It takes a lot of time, effort, and energy to try to keep doing what you know you need to do, often with little gratis afforded your efforts. Try to remember the elephant because you are teaching the point of view that is needed to get the child to see the bigger picture and not just about how it is he/she is thinking/attached to.
Have you heard the words, “Team Building?” It is a buzz word to get things done as efficiently as possible. How does one begin? Simple: Teach the elephant idea as each one is holding a part of the overall product in his/her expertise. Each one has to learn what his/her part is and how it relates to the whole. Then you make sure each one does his/her part. There is always a before and after part to each person’s particular piece. It must start somewhere and end someplace else. It is like hooking the pieces of a train together so it can begin to move. Usually, the whole train gets to moving forward, gathering speed as each learns and does what is needed. If one gets uncoupled, the whole train suffers from lack of forward motion and confusion. Then you have to figure out who got uncoupled, which is fairly obvious. The fix becomes clear much more easily.
I worked in the Government for many years. I used this concept successfully on so many needs that it was honed to simplicity itself. I worked with individual field offices, reporting requirements, travel, major household moves, regulations, timekeeping, performance appraisals, etc. This idea works, plain and simple.
What areas could you use this elephant idea in? Do you see the elephant, or are you personally hanging onto a leg, tail, or trunk? You will have to learn to shift your paradigm to see the elephant. Are you willing? You life would become so much simpler if you would “get out of your box” and look at the overall picture. Once you know the principle and can use it, you whole life could change because interactions would become easier. You could use it with anyone in your environment. Is it worth your effort? YES!
God’s blessings upon your journey!
Posted in Uplifting Thoughts
Tags: active listening, alternatives, anger, angst, answer, argument, blessings, children, choices, compassion, crazy, defend, depression, efficiently, elephant, fear, God, journey, metaphysics, negative, New Age, New thought, overall picture, pain, paradigm, perceptions, positive, reasoning, simpler, team building, thoughts, Truth, understanding, willing, wisdom, withdraw
Because I have personally experienced the loss of so many loved ones, I wanted to express some thoughts that have comforted me along the way.
It has been said that: “Death is merely another journey, one we all must take.”
Kahlil Gibran in “The Prophet” states: “For life and death are one, even as the river and sea are one…For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered? Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.”
Mary Elizabeth Fry (11-13-1905 to 9-15-2004) wrote a poem:
Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep
“Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.”
It has been determined that, when a person dies, their weight decreases by one ounce immediately. Is this the weight of that person’s Spirit/Soul/Essence of Being? Interesting idea, to say the least.
Our Spirit is Us, undeniably. Apart from any religious beliefs, we are all the same. We, the living, forget that our Spirit is indestructible and is more than our bodies, which merely provide us with a place to live and learn while we are on this plane of existence.
John Denver sang about life as: “Just a gathering of memories and then we are gone.”
Hollywood does a good job of stating in pictures that the person who has made his/her transition is still here with us in our hearts as feelings and in our minds as memories.
Christians state: “To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.” Perhaps they say: “We know that person is now with Jesus and is not in pain anymore.”
Other religions state it differently, but it is the same idea: That person’s Spirit has moved on, leaving only the shell behind.
Testimonies of people who have clinically died and been brought back have one thing in common: They saw Beautiful Beings and White Light, which was so peaceful. That idea comforts me.
Sometimes death comes in a tragic, unexpected way. That leaves dear ones dismayed by the suddenness of it all. Sometimes it comes to one who has lingered terribly long, so that death is a release from the agony. Sometimes it comes calling when one least expects it.
Grief over the loss of a loved one can come in many forms: Anticipatory Grief when someone is lingering, Instant Grief when one leaves unexpectedly or a relationship ends. There are many books out there to aid the ones left behind.
Death is, indeed, a part of life. It is a journey we all must take at some time or another. The weird thing is that one does not contemplate one’s own demise. It is as if we will go on forever. When we are reminded of how fickle the Grim Reaper can be, reminding us of our mortality, we usually shrug it off and move on down the road.
My question is this: How can you truly live if you don’t accept the inescapable fact that death is inevitable, sometime?
It is not morbid to contemplate it. It ultimately gives one the freedom to really live! Be in the NOW!
We can comfort others in their sorrow, knowing that they feel deprived of the presence of their loved one. We can have compassion for them during their grieving process. The normal grieving period is two years. It is that period of time when you think of that person, and it stops you in your tracks. Perhaps the tears flow as you miss that one so very much. Even though times goes by, your memory of that person is as fresh as yesterday when you think of them.
Very few people who are going about their daily lives ever really think that: ‘Today is the day when I will cease to be on this planet.” When you kiss a loved one good-bye, you do not know that will be the last time you see him/her.
I always make sure to tell the people in my life that I love them. When my husband and I part, there is always a kiss and a goodbye said. I am comforted that, come what may, I left on a happy note as would he.
Can you say the same about your loved ones? Or are you still fussing over the burned toast or a hasty word spoken in anger? You never have the assurance that will be the last thing spoken or done. Always be aware of it.
Life is a funny thing – it goes to the living. My question is: Are you living? Or are you just existing? Are you doing that which is best for you and your loved ones? It is always your choice in action.
No one who was caught in the 911 catastrophe knew that would be their last moments on earth, or even in plane, car, or train crashes. One woman became so afraid of flying that she took the train, which derailed. The only person who died was her.
Fear of death is an awesome thing and takes a terrible toll. Fear paralyzes one’s abilities such that inaction becomes the order of the day. Sad to say, but when Fear rules, that person loses so much life force and ability to function, which can never be recovered.
“Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” -Mark Twain
If “Life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one,” how can you go on ignoring the reality of it all?
Your choice is all you have to enable you to be 100 percent functional. Are you willing to use it wisely?
God’s blessings on your journey!
Sometimes, out of the middle of nowhere, a health issue pops up. Sometimes it is serious, sometimes not. But whether it is serious or not, it always messes with your mind, attitudes, and emotions. How do you get through it?
It is not an issue of wimping out, having a pity party, or giving up. As long as you are alive, you have to deal with it. How you do that is up to you and nobody else. What does your mind say? What attitudes do you choose to encourage? What emotions do you endure?
Common attitudes vary from looking on the bright side, taking your courage in hand, and do what you have to do to get better, whatever that consists of…be it physical therapy – doing it with a good effort, knowing that what you put in will determine how well it works – take your prescribed medication as you should – change of diet, either temporarily or permanently – asking for help when needed, even if you are independent-minded and do not want to ask – make a list of questions for your physicians – listening to their answers – in short: Doing whatever it takes to achieve your goal of improving and getting better.
Looking on the other side of attitudes, you see an unwillingness to go through the pain of it all, be it exercises from physical therapists, uncomfortable tests for evaluation, unwillingness to trust your physicians or their advice, inability to cope with it all so you withdraw and do nothing (which is an option, though not a very wise one), just hoping that somebody out there has a magic pill to make it all go away.
So far, I have not found any magic pills. Have you?
I cannot wave a magic wand and make the problems disappear, never to return.
The emotions you deal with can exacerbate an already tough situation, as can your brain. Fear immobilizes – always! Anger is debilitating. (Yes, anger is a component, more than we like to admit.) It can even be a generic anger that this has happened to you. It is all inside of you, bubbling away like a witch’s brew.
Knowing the cause – be it an accident, exposure to a sickness, or just a problem with your body – rarely helps.
Somehow, you need to find a way that works for you personally. You must seek help to resolve the thoughts, emotions, and attitudes. Books can aid you. Counseling can, too. Venting with a good friend can come to your assistance. Prayers for me are a vital part of it all, requesting them from caring family and friends I know.
When it is a loved one who is ill, it becomes a lot more complicated. Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness come unbidden as you watch them suffer. You might be able to paste on that smile while you are in their presence, trying to help where you can, but when you are alone, it can fill your heart with angst and fear. You are not in control of anything. That is when you have to do the same thing as listed above: Get yourself under control. You cannot be of assistance to anybody if you don’t calm yourself first.
I know dear people who are caught in the horns of this dilemma. Denial causes inappropriate reactions, delaying resolution – sometimes permanently – as the condition continues to deteriorate.
It has been said: “The way out is the way through!”
I believe this from the very bottom of my heart. There is no avoiding it. You just have to ask yourself: How am I going to respond to this situation? Examine your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and emotions. They are as important as the symptoms of the illness. You are a whole person, not just an arm, leg, heart, head, or other body part.
With that in mind, perhaps you could start by making a list of them. Then you can look for ways to resolve each one. There is no evading this issue, so deal with it.
The question is: Are you willing? Do you want to look for a resolution? It is within your purview to do it – and you are the only one who can. The problem is well defined. Now look for the answer.
God’s blessings on your journey!
Depression is defined in the dictionary as: low spirits; gloominess; dejection; sadness…Psychology: an emotional condition, either neurotic or psychotic, characterized by feelings of hopelessness, inadequacy, etc.”
Anxiety‘s dictionary definition states: “a state of being uneasy in mind, apprehensive, or worried about what may happen; concern about a possible future event…Psychiatry: an intense state of this kind, characterized by varying degrees of emotional disturbance and psychic tension.”
Anger is defined as: “a feeling of displeasure resulting from injury, mistreatment, opposition, etc., and usually showing itself in a desire to fight back at the supposed cause of this feeling…Synonyms: anger is broadly applicable to feelings of resentful or revengeful displeasure; indignation implies righteous anger aroused by what seems unjust, mean, or insulting; rage suggests a violent outburst of anger in which self-control is lost; fury implies a frenzied rage that borders on madness; ire, chiefly a literary word, suggests a show of great anger in acts, words, looks, etc.; wrath implies deep indignation expressing itself in a desire to punish or get revenge.”
If you ask yourself a sincere question: Can I relate to these definitions? Have I ever experienced them? The answer would have to be a resounding, “YES!” Because, whether you acknowledge these ugly feelings or not, the human condition dictates that they are all part of our emotional makeup.
Then the question arises: Are you currently experiencing them in any form? Are you stuck in a loop where all you can do is think about what happened? This could include incidents that occurred many long years ago, last week, or right now.
Are you aware that depression is actually unexpressed anger, which then turns inward, wreaking havoc with every part of you? There are many avenues which you can follow in order to find an answer to your particular brand of it: Books, Classes, Meditation, Breathing, Learn to Forgive, etc. One suggestion I have seen is to write everything down and then mail it to that person, or just express it and shred it. Another is to exercise it away as you think about whatever it is. Another is to pound a pillow, expressing it as you think about it.
Depression also includes sadness and malaise. It can be due to the loss or illness of a loved one or an irresolvable situation, where the Pushmi-Pullyu from the Dr. Dolittle story, enters in. Just recognizing your emotions and the situation can help in enduring whatever is going on. Sometimes that is the best we can do.
Anger is not pretty. It can be extremely destructive in all of its forms. Women, more than men, tend to hold it in until it bursts forth like a raging torrent, usually over something trivial. All you have to do is look at the event and see if the words are commensurate with the situation. Usually, it isn’t. Then you have to look for unresolved issues that occurred prior to the outburst and see what the real driver is. Men tend to be more reactive to situations, responding immediately to it. Their fuses tend to be a lot shorter. This can be a good thing, but also not-so-good, depending on the outcome.
Let’s talk about the idea of FOXHOLES. Soldiers of old dug holes in the ground to protect themselves from the enemy. These holes were dubbed foxholes. In this analogy, think of yourself as being in a hole in the ground, protecting yourself from all incoming issues. As these incidents occur, you grab them instead of letting them pass you by. In lieu of handling the ones you grab at the time, you stuff them into your foxhole, literally filling it up again. You can see how easily your foxhole becomes full, and you are vulnerable because there is more incoming, with nowhere to stuff it. So when the next one comes in, you overreact because your foxhole is full. The other thing about stuffing foxholes is that, the longer that particular thing is in the foxhole, the harder it is to resolve. The idea here is to take care of all incoming problems and not stuff it in the first place. (Of course, if you had just let them pass by without dwelling on them, it would be a non-problem.) The only way to get the foxhole empty is to look at each thing you have stuffed in there and find a way to resolve it. Easier said than done, you say. I agree, but it is absolutely necessary.
Have you ever seen a mother or father with a difficult child, who just keeps pushing and doing inappropriate behaviors? They usually forebear action, especially in today’s world, until something happens which pushes them over the edge. Then they overreact with angry words, actions, etc., that are not in line with what just happened and a punishment that is not commensurate with the child’s behavior mistakes. This causes confusion for all.
In the Bible, Ephesians 4:26 states: “Be ye angry, and sin not; let not the sun go down upon your wrath:”
My husband and I agreed from the very beginning of our relationship that whatever issues arrive during each day, we would take care of them before we went to bed that night. We would then resolve whatever it was, no matter how difficult or traumatic, to an acceptable level, kiss each other, bless each other, and go off into the Land of Nod peacefully. In all these years, we have never had any “Foxhole” troubles. Life is so much simpler this way. The resolution is accomplished more easily and appropriately.
Have you ever heard a couple arguing about incidents that happened long ago, dredged up in a moment of anger to be thrown in the other’s face? This is a full foxhole, folks. It appears as if by magic, but trust me, it’s not.
The most insidious factor of the Awesome Trio of Depression, Anxiety, and Anger is that they come to you in a complex mix of worry, fear, and trepidation. They are usually part of your foxhole before you realize what is occurring. How can you solve that? It is simple: When you finally recognize it, do something about it. Find a resolution that works for you. Do not let it just stay where it is, causing trouble, ulcers, and affecting your health, because it will not just go away. You will have to find a way to dissolve it. Action speaks louder than words.
Another aspect of this Awesome Trio is that we can assimilate it from the world outside of us: All you have to do is pick up a newspaper, read news on inline, or turn on the TV to the news. The horrific is common fodder for broadcasting. We react to some of it in a personal manner. Yet we can do nothing to change whatever happened, is occurring, or may come down the road. There are just simply horrid instances of every form of malice and ill will out there. Somehow, it ends up in our personal think tank as we find it abhorrent to us in so many ways. We ponder on it. Some of us respond and take some sort of action to assist whoever it is that needs help. Sometimes there is nothing we can do, ever. Yet it stays in our foxhole unless we take some action to either bless them on their way or otherwise resolve it so we can get on with our lives.
Living can be messy. It is not happenstance. We must participate in our lives to the best of our ability.
Are you willing to entertain the AWESOME TRIO of DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, and ANGER ENDLESSLY? Or do you want to find a way to process the causation in order to resolve whatever it is in a timely manner? It is, after all, your journey, health, emotions, ulcers, and life. No one can do it for you. You alone must make the choices that will make the difference.
God’s blessings upon your journey!
“Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside us.” (Oliver Wendell Holmes as found in http://artquotes.robertgenn.com)
Each of us is born with a lot of inner gifts inside of us, yet without effort on your part, the gifts stay all wrapped up and are never opened. They never see the light of day. Each of us is unique, like a snowflake = no two are alike. Only you can be who you are.
Sometimes a person believes authority figures in his/her life, be it a parent, a teacher, or a boss. If told long enough that a quality is not part of their makeup, a person believes that and never unwraps the gift inherent inside, just waiting to be unwrapped.
I was nineteen years old before I knew for certain that I could do anything right. I learned to ice skate. I flew across the ice with wings on my feet and in my heart. No, I was not Olympic material, but I found something I could do. I was raised with the emphasis on negative programming, as in everything I did was automatically going to be wrong. I was raised in a traditional Protestant religion by a mother who was raised in a Catholic Orphanage by nuns. Guess who believed that she was going to be WRONG for the rest of her natural life? Yet, I broke that programming, beginning with the day I learned to ice skate. From then on, I claim the right to try to do whatever opportunity comes my way. I have used personal growth books, workshops, lectures, etc., to that end. When an opportunity comes my way, I want to be open to its possibilities for me. I am unwrapping my gifts still. What a joy it is!
The opposite is true of someone who is stuck in fear of the unknown or who does not believe anything else is possible. The gifts inside stay there, dormant. If one gives away their power to outside authority figures, nothing becomes the reality.
When I was young, I had an art teacher named Mrs. Able. She kindly informed me that I should stay away from art when I was in Elementary School. So I believed her, and I did…until I was in my 40’s. I took an art class at lunchtime. The teacher said I could put my work on display in an art gallery and made me promise to at least frame it, which I did. Just look at the wasted years! I could have been having fun with it all that time.
How about you? Have you kept your inner potential of gifts under wraps, hidden deep inside you? Have you explored what they might be? What surprises are waiting for you? All you have to do is begin to believe that you can do something about your dreams and wishes. Perhaps you could begin by writing them down. It also helps to raise your awareness of how you can begin to bring them to life. That enhances the Synergy of movement into being. Are you willing to do it?
Blessings on your journey!