Posted by upliftingthoughts4u
First, let me wish you A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR 2023! GOD BLESS YOU WITH YOUR HIGHEST GOOD EVERY DAY!
With the daily stresses and strains of day-to-day living, you may well ask how is it possible to live your life fully every day. We all know the heavy toll that these place on your body, creating illness in our bodies, depression, fear, and anger in our minds, and a state of unfriendliness seen in the whole world in the news. Even if one obtains a modicum of peace, it shatters easily with negative self talk and outside stimuli.
The answer to that question is quite simple but is most difficult to actually practice: Simplify, take one step at a time, watch your self chatter for content, breathe deeply, and smile.
Sounds so easy, doesn’t it? But if you take it seriously as a possible goal, you can watch your life change before your very eyes.
Each day, strive to experience your day, moment by moment. Notice how you are breathing: If it is shallow and upper chest only, your body is telling you that it is stressed. The cure is closing your eyes for a moment, begin to belly breathe, and slowly return to your reality of that moment. In that moment of quiet, examine the cause of the stress. Ask yourself if whatever it is will be worth shortening your life for. If it is not, awareness of a need for change can begin a transition to a calmer you, living longer and happier. Dr. Wayne Dyer stated: “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.”
Our “fight or flight” responses alter our reality every day. Rarely are we chased for our lives by tigers, lions, or bears. But that scheduling conflict, missed taxi, late for a meeting, child is sick and you don’t have a babysitter, or any other stressor in your reality does activate those responses to your body’s detriment. Firemen, police officers, soldiers, or anyone else in situations like that are taught box breathing to deal with stressors: Breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds, and hold for four seconds before beginning the breathe in process again.
Love is meant to be shared with others who share your life: A word of kindness to a busy check out clerk, a smile anywhere, a laugh to lighten the mood, a hug and kiss to personal relationships, saying, “I love you!” in a meaningful way. Love is very misunderstood in today’s fast-paced world. Some people think it is only a physical thing, but it is so much more than that. Basic respect and cordiality can go a long way in changing your reality with others you know well and strangers passing you like ships in the night. You cannot know how much good you can do to alter someone else’s life by a moment of kindness or a smile. If you pay attention to each one and begin to live and love fully in each exchange every day, this world can be changed greatly. Remember, there are no “do overs” so LIVE NOW. Create good memories.
That idea should include yourself. Our negative self chatter can ruin anything. It is so very powerful. Can you begin the day by looking at yourself in a mirror, give yourself a hug, and say, “I love you!” to that reflection you see? So many personal growth workshops begin with that idea. How can you love others if you do not love yourself first? Jesus said: “Love others AS you would yourself.” He did NOT say: Love others INSTEAD OF yourself. Some of us have been badly taught that such an idea is selfish and wrong. It is taught that others come first always. But can you give water out of an empty bucket? If you don’t find ways to personally fulfill who you really are, how can you give “water” to anyone else? God created you. There is only one of you, just like there is only one snowflake as all are unique.
Yet from childhood we learn that we want to please our authority figures at any cost, which we internalize and carry with us into adulthood. If interpersonal relationships are wrecking havoc in your life with negative self talk, etc., there are some delightful books that are easy reads which can then enable you to make magic changes:
“Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz
“Games People Play” by Eric Berne
“I’m OK – You’re OK” by Thomas Harris
“Rethinking Everything” by Neil Bright
Last night I finished watching “Limitless” on Disney Plus with Australian Actor Chris Hemsworth who plays Thor. It has six episodes and is National Geographic supported. Yes, you might thing that these are, for the most part, directed at very active people in the audience with extreme challenges not many could even think about, but if one is paying attention through all six episodes, one learns a lot about the effects of accidents, how to handle stress, and even life changing things like grief and poor health. I can recommend it to everyone, indeed, for the suggestions it plants in one’s mind.
Little things can cause big feelings and responses. They can grow exponentially. The more you feed with thought and emotions, they become mountains. However, if you take each item individually to examine its parts, you can gain control, causing perceptions to change. They can then become what they are: Little Things.
At any point, all the above can make a difference in your reality: You can be motivated to do the best you can under whatever circumstance you find yourself in. You can choose to live your life fully each and every day in spite of any external stimuli or situation you are in. It starts inside of you with self talk and deep breathing, mindfulness, and the awareness that you want to live all the days of your life in a better way. It is your choice. Awareness is the beginning of change.
God bless you each and every day, now and in the coming years as you continue on your journey! Peace, love, and laughter to you!
Posted in Uplifting Thoughts
Tags: accidents, anger, fear, fight or flight, Games People Play by Eric Berne, God, grief, Happy New Year!, I'm Ok You are OK by Thomas Harris, illness, journey, kindness, laughter, life, Limitless with Chris Hemsworth and National Geographic, Little things, Love, metaphysics, Mindfulness, New Age, New thought, Peace, poor health, Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, respect, Rethinking Everything by Neil Bright, stress, thoughts, Truth, understanding, wisdom
Posted by upliftingthoughts4u
A quote I live by every day: “Life is too serious to be taken seriously.”
I have had at least one person ask me what that means. I just responded, “Lighten up.”
When I was young, my temper would often get the best of me. Then I would dwell on the situation, only making myself more upset by the minute. Often it would take me days to get over some small incident.
Even if someone actually means to do something ornery to you, is a grudge the best way to handle it?
If someone cuts you off in traffic, do you react with anger? Are you still upset at your desk hours later? I figure that person who cut me off, nearly taking my fender with him, did not actually do it to me — it is a habitual way to drive which is a poor paymaster, eventually causing that person to damage his own vehicle and probably somebody else’s. I bless him on his way.
As I have aged, I grant others the ability to misbehave and make mistakes, knowing that they are doing the best they can at that moment. I do not take it personally. It saves me a lot of wear and tear on my heart and mind because I just do not want to get angry about the situation. When I get angry, I am leaving my center of peace and tranquillity and exchanging it for something that will not be worth the agony it causes. I have to choose to ACT and not REACT. If I have to state something clearly so that a situation is resolved, I do not have to yell or cuss to get my point across. Yet there is no doubt in anyone’s mind what I am communicating.
I took an Anger Management class many years ago. I learned that ACTIVE LISTENING is the key. You repeat back to the person who is yelling at you exactly what you heard. You keep it up. Soon, the volume decreases. People yell because they think you did not hear them. When you repeat what they say, they lose steam. The Anger flows away. You cannot rationalize with an angry person. He/she is not listening to you. You cannot discuss the issues if one person is yelling and not listening. You can even, eventually, agree to disagree and then set another time to actually discuss the issues if it is necessary. I personally had to deal with a very angry 300 pound man who was borderline getting physically violent. The active listening calmed him down until I could ask him to leave. So I know it works.
Anger, in some people, causes them to withdraw as a reaction. They crawl up into a little shell, which only increases the anger expression of whoever is perpetrating the situation. Obviously, that person does not know you are listening to them. Some people just try to get away from whatever is happening and just run away from the scene as fast as they can. Resolution never occurs.
Bullies love it. We admit that. They like to feel powerful and power-filled. They usually find someone to pick on that is smaller than they are. They win by intimidation. Some supervisors do that same thing. You cannot interact with them because they know they have POWER. But being quiet like a mouse does not work either as a response. They usually only get worse. Try Active Listening techniques. Perhaps it will help calm the situation.
When someone is angry, it raises their blood pressure, the adrenalin “fight or flight” response, and the wear and tear on the body. It is like a light that goes shooting out at the person or situation. When it is over, one feels empty and drained. If the anger is not expressed properly, however, it turns inward and becomes depression. That is a bad beast to have to deal with.
You can pound on pillows, write a hate letter and shred it, perform physical exercise, imagining that you are stomping out the problem/situation/person. There are lots of ways to exorcise the bad feelings without putting one’s fist through a wall, person, or thing.
I have had three accidents in my life which have impacted my body functioning and hampered how I can do many tasks. I have had to deal with anger over the losses to my healthy body. Life is not fair, and it will never be so. I had to work my way through the anger responses so I could deal with the pain and the situation. That is not an easy thing to do, but it is necessary because I choose to be a pleasant person with a smile on my face. Most people will never know what I have gone through and what is happening to my body at any moment. I do not let the pain or the anger control me and dictate what my interaction level will be with others. I choose to overcome it and share the best that is in me with my world.
We are like puppets of the memories we have, registered long ago when we were learning how to interact with our world. We learned how to deal with situations by watching those around us. If we did not have good mentors (and most of us had parents and others around us who are capable of making mistakes), we respond with whatever we learned, good or bad.
Most of the therapy that people pay for is so they can react and interact with their world differently than what they learned when they were small. They want to be able to be more functional. That is a good thing. It is never too late to change, using whatever tools you can find that work for you, be it a book, a good friend, etc.
If you find yourself becoming angry at something or someone, can you stop for even a second before you light that flame of destruction? Can you ask yourself why you are ready to rip somebody’s head off? Can you stop and breathe deeply, trying to calm yourself, your blood pressure, and your “fight or flight” response? That is the purpose for counting to 10, slowly.
Do you remember the scene in the Harry Potter movie where Ron was facing his fears, and he turned the spider into a clown, with roller skates on each leg? Do you know that anger can be dealt with in the same way? I quietly think about a scene from Alice in Wonderland, looking for the Mad Hatter, The Cheshire Cat, the White Rabbit with the pocket watch yelling, “I’m late! I’m late! I’m late!” Anything that will add levity to the situation until I can regain my perspective. I don’t have to tell anyone what I am up to…I just do it.
When things gets crazy around me, instead of joining the craziness, I just calmly rise in my air balloon, looking at the situation as a spectator. If I choose to ACT, I can then do so. No hint of REACT is there. (Now, if I had a charging tiger to deal with, I would put my adrenalin to good use. But short of that, in real life, there are not many dangers out there to react to. It is the imaginary dangers that cause the damage, and most of them never happen. We just worry about it all, nonetheless.)
If have been told that I am a very positive person. I work at it. It is not something that happens by chance. I work on my calm attitudes because I want to be part of the answer, not the problem.
Each morning when I get up, I set my sails so that if some errant wind catches me, I can then adjust my sails so I can keep heading towards my destination, whatever that may be for the day. Lots of people can try to huff and puff, and blow me off course…all to no avail. Circumstances can do the same. I still press on with my hand on the helm, charting my course by my belief system and my faith. with prayers always in my heart.
Life happens. We all make mistakes. We have to continually pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and start all over again.
If you find yourself stewing over some situation and not arriving at a peaceful resolution, just know that you have lots of company. The only questions you need to ask yourself are, “Do I want to continue feeling like this? Do I want to change that?” Hanging onto your anger will not solve a thing. It only wears you out from the inside. Is it worth it?
Posted in Uplifting Thoughts
Tags: accidents, act, active listening, agony, anger, anger management, blood pressure, breathe, bullies, calm, crazy, depression, fair, fears, grudge, heart, levity, life, memories, mentors, metaphysics, mind, misbehave, mistakes, New Age, New thought, pain, Peace, perspective, power, puppets, react, resolution, sails, spectator, temper, thoughts, tranquillity, Truth, understanding, wisdom, withdraw